Words, Trust and Relationships

Words, Trust and Relationships.

Words, Trust and Relationships

Interpersonal relationships are social connections, associations and affiliations between people. They vary in levels of depth and intimacy and cover different aspects such as friendship, family, boy-girl relationship and marriage. Regardless of the different kinds of relationship or the different role which a person plays in a social entity, conflicts may arise and can strain a relationship. Trust is an important element in maintaining a healthy and harmonious relationship. Conflicts normally arise due to the betrayal of trust between two parties in a relationship. Whenever there is a conflict, parties may resort to hurling harsh words and insults on each other which may eventually lead to emotional stress.

Trust is the pillar which supports relationships. Lies are the culprits for distrust and suspicion in relationships. Lies should be taken seriously because for every time a lie is told, the level of trust will drop and create more and more suspicion between parties. Eventually, the person who tells the lies will lose their credibility and this will strain the relationship. In today’s modern society of heightened stress and competition, lies are inevitable and serve as a convenient tool to evade trouble and protect oneself. However, this form of convenience is exchanged with the reduction in trust. A person who has their trust misplaced before may have difficulty trusting people again. Therefore, with regards of relationship, once there is zero trust between both parties, this relationship has failed. Honesty is the best policy!

Words can be the most powerful tool but the most destructive weapon in the world. Words can be in the form of praise and compliment but also a weapon that can hurt and leave an emotional scar in a person. For instance, rumors are able to cause a person to break down and become adversely affected because of the large number of people being involved. When it comes to relationship, hurtful remarks and insults being hurled on a person in the fit of anger during conflicts can deeply affect the person’s psychological and emotional state. The impact of these words can be further intensified especially when it come out from a person who you are closely attached to. The emotional effect may heal over time but it can also change a person’s perception of humanity and relationships permanently.

In conclusion, trust and words are closely related to each other in a relationship. Any incorrect management of these two important elements can strain a relationship. Anger management, character building and emotional stress management are crucial to prevent conflicts and handle any aftermath of failed relationships. Therefore, one should not take things to be granted and learn to cherish relationships.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

http://www.weewoowee.com/forum/index.php —— Michelle Chin | Women, Beauty, Relationship and Lingerie Forum

How to stop absorbing other peoples negative emotions.

pain-lossEmotional freedom means learning how to stay centered in a stressful, highly emotionally charged world. Since emotions such as fear, anger, and frustration are energies, you can potentially “catch” them from people without realizing it. If you tend to be an emotional sponge, it’s vital to know how to avoid taking on an individual’s negative emotions or the free-floating kind in crowds.

Another twist is that chronic anxiety, depression, or stress can turn you into an emotional sponge by wearing down your defenses. Suddenly, you become hyper-attuned to others, especially those with similar pain. That’s how  empathy works; we zero in on hot-button issues that are unresolved in ourselves.

Read more >>> How to stop absorbing other peoples negative emotions.

The Power of Empathy

Re-post of origional article…

empathyEmpathy is the capacity to recognize and, to some extent, share feelings (such as sadness or happiness) that are being experienced by another sapient or semi-sapient being. Someone may need to have a certain amount of empathy before they are able to feel compassion. The English word was coined in 1909 by E.B. Titchener as an attempt to translate the German word “Einfühlungsvermögen”, a new phenomenon explored at the end of 19th century mainly by Theodor Lipps. It was later re-translated (Germanized) into the German language into “Empathie” and still in use there.

Empathy is one of the most important aspects of creating harmonious relationships, reducing stress, and enhancing emotional awareness — yet it can be tricky at times. I consider myself to be quite empathic, but I notice that with certain people (especially those I don’t like or agree with, and also with myself at times) and in particular situations, my natural ability and desire to empathize can be diminished or almost nonexistent.

I also notice that when I feel empathy for others and for myself, I feel a sense of peace, connection, and perspective that I like. And when there is an absence of empathy in a particular relationship or situation, or how I’m relating to myself, I often experience stress, disconnection, and negativity. Can you relate?

What Is Empathy?

Empathy is not sympathy. When we’re sympathetic, we often pity someone else but maintain our distance (physically, mentally, and emotionally) from their feelings or experience. Empathy is more a sense that we can truly understand, relate to, or imagine the depth of another person’s emotional state or situation. It implies feeling with a person rather than feeling sorry for a person. And in some cases that “person” is actually us.

Empathy is a translation of the German term Einfühlung, meaning “to feel as one with.” It implies sharing the load, or “walking a mile in someone else’s shoes,” in order to understand that person’s perspective.

What Stops Us From Empathizing?

There are a number of things that get in the way of us utilizing and experiencing the power of empathy. Three of the main ones, which are all interrelated, are as follows:

  • Feeling Threatened: When we feel threatened by another person or a particular situation, it’s often hard to empathize. This makes perfect sense from a survival standpoint (i.e., if someone is trying to hurt us, we want to protect ourselves rather than have compassion and understanding about where they’re coming from). However, we often feel “threatened” based on our own fears, projections, and past experiences, not by what is actually happening in the moment or in a particular relationship or situation. Whether the threat is “real” or “imagined,” when we feel threatened in any way, it often shuts down our ability to experience empathy.
  • Being Judgmental: Judgments are a part of life, we all must make lots of judgments and decisions on a daily basis (what to wear, what to eat, where to sit, what to watch/listen to/read, what to say, and on and on). Making value judgments (the relative placement of our discernment) is essential to living a healthy life. However, being judgmental is a totally different game. When we’re judgmental, we decide that we’re “right” and someone else is “wrong.” Doing this hurts us and others, cuts us off from those around us, and doesn’t allow us to see alternative options and possibilities. We live in a culture that is obsessed with and passionate about being judgmental. And many of us, myself included, are highly trained in this destructive and damaging “art.” When we’re being judgmental about another person, group of people, or situation, we significantly diminish our capacity to be empathic.
  • Experiencing Fear: The root of all this is our fear. Feeling threatened is all about fear. Being judgmental is all about fear. And, not feeling, experiencing, or expressing empathy is also all about fear. There’s nothing inherently wrong with fear; it’s a natural human emotion that has many positive aspects to it if we’re willing to admit it, own it, express it, and move through it. Fear saves our lives and keeps us out of trouble all the time. However, the issue with fear is our denial of it, our secret obsession with it, and our lack of responsibility about it. We deem things, people, or situations to be “scary,” when in truth there is nothing in life that is inherently “scary.” There are lots of things, people, and situations that cause fear in us; however, we make it about “them” instead of owning that the fear comes from within us. When we allow ourselves to be motivated by fear, which often leads to us defending ourselves against “threats,” being judgmental, and more, it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to access the power of empathy.

Where in your life and relationships can you see that feeling threatened, being judgmental, and experiencing fear stop you from being empathic? The more willing you are to look at this, acknowledge it, own it, and take responsibility for it (with compassion for yourself), the more able you’ll be to expand your capacity for empathy.

How to Become More Empathic

There are many things we can do and practice to increase our ability to feel, experience, and express empathy for others, situations, and ourselves. Becoming more empathetic is one of the best ways we can enhance our relationships, reduce our stress level, and feel good about ourselves and our lives in an authentic way.

Here are a few things you can do and think about to become more empathic:

  • Be Real About How You Feel: When we’re willing to get real about how we truly feel and have the courage to be vulnerable about it with ourselves and others, we can so often liberate ourselves from the negativity, projections, and judgments that mask what’s really going on. When we’re in a conflict with another person or dealing with someone or something that’s challenging for us, being able to admit, own, and express our fear, insecurity, sadness, anger, jealousy, or whatever other “negative” emotions we are experiencing is one of the best ways for us to move past our defensiveness and authentically address the deeper issues of the situation. Doing this allows us to access empathy for ourselves, the other person or people involved, and even the circumstances of the conflict or challenge itself.
  • Imagine What It’s Like For Them: While it can sometimes be difficult for us to “understand” another person’s perspective or situation (because we may not agree with them, haven’t been through what they’ve been through, or don’t really want to see it through their eyes), being able to imagine what it must be like for them is an essential aspect of empathy. This is not about condoning inappropriate behavior or justifying other people’s actions; however, I do believe deep in my heart that no one does or says things that are hurtful to us if they aren’t already feeling a real sense of pain themselves and/or haven’t been hurt in many ways in their own life. Whatever the situation, the more willing we are to imagine what it’s like for them, the more compassion, understanding, and empathy we’ll be able to experience.
  • Forgive Yourself and Others: Forgiveness is one of the most important things we can do in life to heal ourselves, let go of negativity, and live a life of peace and fulfillment. Forgiveness has to first start with us. I believe that all judgment is self-judgment. When we forgive ourselves, we create the conditions and perspective to forgive others. Forgiveness is one of the many important aspects of life that is often easier said than done. It is something we need to learn about and practice all the time. Sadly, we aren’t often taught how to forgive, encouraged to do it in genuine way, and didn’t, in most cases, grow up with very good models or examples of how to forgive. One of the best books you can read on this subject is called Forgive For Good, written by my friend and mentor Dr. Fred Luskin, one of the world’s leading experts and teachers about the power of forgiveness. This book gives you practical and tangible techniques you can use to forgive anyone and anything. The more willing we are to forgive ourselves and others (and continue to practice this in an on-going way), the more able we’ll be to empathize authentically.

Mike Robbins is a sought-after motivational keynote speaker, coach, and the bestselling author of Focus on the Good Stuff (Wiley) and Be Yourself, Everyone Else Is Already Taken (Wiley). More info: www.Mike-Robbins.com

Emotional Healing Examined

emotional healingWhat is emotional healing? It is a painful process that leads to  peace, happiness and self-knowledge. Self-knowledge leads to liberation. It is  painful, because only painful emotions need to be healed. True happiness does  not need releasing! But true happiness remains un-experienced as long as there  is an escape from pain. It is the healing of buried pain that allows happiness  and joy to start to make a true entrance into our lives. This is because only  through self-acceptance can we really move forward in our lives.

Read more… Emotional Healing Examined.

Controlling Insecurity: Five Methods

We may feel insecure around a boss or a successful and  attractive member of the opposite sex. Or we may just feel intimidated by crowds  and have no greater goal than making it through the experience without unduly  embarrassing ourselves.

Causes of insecurity and the effects of different  methods used to reduce it will vary. Here are five areas that may  help.

steps-of-insecurityI. Tune Down the Stress,  “De-multitask

Sometimes we feel insecure because we live such  busy, stressful lives. Aside from old fashioned stresses like education, family,  relationships and career, a more recent source of stress has been multitasking  on the internet and using our electronic servants like smartphones and the  iPad.

I am not here to argue against the advantages of modern technology,  only that some of us may need to make hard choice about limiting their use for  our own emotional (and cognitive) well-being.

Maybe its OK not to get up  and answer the text message right away  … even multiple text messages. If  emails are only answered at certain set hours of the day (say between 9 – 10 AM  and between 3 – 4 PM–and no other–is that going to make your business and  friendships go away?

And if you are working on a deadline for a project,  is it possible you can avoid glancing at the news or hottest YouTube video for a  while?

Research is increasingly suggesting that uninterrupted mental  focus is best for creativity and sustained logical thinking. Multitasking is  entertaining and a little bit addictive, but how does your blood pressure and  memory fare on a steady diet of mental ping pong?

Does stress increase  your nervous tension and feelings of insecurity? Even if you like multitasking,  does it have a downside?

II. Stop the  Stimulants

Why are coffee and caffeinated beverages popular?  Sugar and caffeine in their own way are stimulants. Aside from taste, we like  the mild euphoria, the increased productivity, the zest they give us.

But  stimulants can also increase the general level of anxiety, and in some of us,  that may be a bit too much. If we are already prone to insecure feelings, such  stimulants may push us over an edge. Best to cut back.

III.  Improve Sleeping Habits

Are you more calm following a long and  good night’s sleep or after a brief and fitful night’s sleep?

Our central  nervous system seems to need sleep, but our frenzied attempts at productivity,  our love of entertainment and our undisciplined choices tend to push sleeping  hours later than is best for our long term well being.

Getting things  done on time to get to bed early may seem self-indulgent, but the opposite is  true, at least in the long run. Often we prolong the hours before bed by  entertainment. That may help us relax, or it may stimulate us, depending. Often  we eat a late night snack because we stay up a long time, and that not only  gives us added strength to stay up longer, it also has an unfortunate effect on  the quality of our sleep and on our weight.

An anxious person may not  sleep well anyway. Early relaxation and improving the discipline of sleep habits  may improve daytime feelings of insecurity.

IV. Add Things that  Relax and Calm

Some of us who are chronically stressed or  nervous may find some help in prescription drugs used for anxiety or depression.  Or for those wishing to avoid many of the negative side effects of drugs, some  vitamins, herbs, aromatherapy essential oils, or homeopathic remedies may be of some help.

Do not take both drugs  and natural substances for feelings of insecurity before consulting your doctor,  and especially so if you are a pregnant or nursing mother. And while adding  calming substances may help, they should probably best be considered as  occasional or temporary solutions used in conjunction with other  things.

Regular exercise of all kinds tends to moderate anxieties. Yoga  is one popular means of exercise used especially for its calming  effects.

V. Identify the Negative, Practice the  Positive

Knowing precisely the surface and underlying reasons  for your insecurity feelings is often a first step in confronting and  controlling the problems. Replacing the negative with a positive lifestyle  choice may be part of your solution (like  changing jobs).

Or very commonly, we feel insecure because of a pattern  of self-sabotaging and irrational thoughts. Identifying these thoughts and  replacing them with rational ones often helps control insecurity. Perhaps these  positive rational thoughts can be written down in scripts and rehearsed  deliberately until memorized, at which point the insecure person can use them at  will to get through especially nervous periods and in time retrain the  emotions.

A common final goal of controlling feelings of insecurity is  facing them squarely and acting in a reasonable and planned fashion through the  feelings toward success. Repeated success encourages the mind and cuts the power  of anxiety.

 
David J. Phelps – About the Author:
Next, see the Linden Method for anxiety for an effective treatment that retrains one’s emotions or consider more on controlling insecurity.

How to stop absorbing other peoples negative emotions

pain-lossEmotional freedom means learning how to stay centered in a stressful, highly emotionally charged world. Since emotions such as fear, anger, and frustration are energies, you can potentially “catch” them from people without realizing it. If you tend to be an emotional sponge, it’s vital to know how to avoid taking on an individual’s negative emotions or the free-floating kind in crowds.

Another twist is that chronic anxiety, depression, or stress can turn you into an emotional sponge by wearing down your defenses. Suddenly, you become hyper-attuned to others, especially those with similar pain. That’s how  empathy works; we zero in on hot-button issues that are unresolved in ourselves.

From an energetic standpoint, negative emotions can originate from several sources. What you’re feeling may be your own; it may be someone else’s; or it may be a combination. I’ll explain how to tell the difference and strategically bolster positive emotions so you don’t shoulder negativity that doesn’t belong to you.

This wasn’t something I always knew how to do. Growing up, my girlfriends couldn’t wait to hit the shopping malls and go to parties, the bigger the better–but I didn’t share their excitement. I always felt overwhelmed, exhausted around large groups of people, though I was clueless why. “What’s the matter with you?” friends would say, shooting me the weirdest looks. All I knew was that crowded places and I just didn’t mix. I’d go there feeling just fine but leave nervous, depressed, or with some horrible new ache or pain. Unsuspectingly, I was a gigantic sponge, absorbing the emotions of people around me.

With my patients, I’ve also seen how absorbing other people’s emotions can trigger panic attacks, depression, food, sex and drug binges, and a plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that more than two million Americans suffer from chronic fatigue. It’s likely that many of them are emotional sponges.

Here are some strategies from Emotional Freedom to practice. They will help you to stop absorbing other people’s emotions.

Emotional Action Step ~ How To Stay Centered In A Stressful World To detach from other people’s negative emotions:

First, ask yourself: Is the feeling mine or someone else’s?
It could be both. If the emotion such as fear or anger is yours, gently confront what’s causing it on your own or with professional help. If not, try to pinpoint the obvious generator. For instance, if you’ve just watched a comedy, yet you came home from the movie theater feeling blue, you may have incorporated the depression of the people sitting beside you; in close proximity, energy fields overlap. The same is true with going to a mall or packed concert.

When possible, distance yourself from the suspected source.

Move at least twenty feet away; see if you feel relief. Don’t err on the side of not wanting to offend strangers. In a public place, don’t hesitate to change seats if you feel a sense of depression imposing on you.

For a few minutes, center yourself by concentrating on your breath: This connects you to your essence. Keep exhaling negativity, inhaling calm. This helps to ground yourself and purify fear or other difficult emotions Visualize negativity as gray fog lifting from your body, and hope as golden light entering. This can yield quick results.

Negative emotions such as fear frequently lodge in your emotional center at the solar plexus.

Place your palm there as you keep sending loving-kindness to that area to flush stress out. For longstanding  depression or anxiety, use this method daily to strengthen this center. It’s comforting and builds a sense of safety and optimism.

Shield yourself.

A handy form of protection many people use, including healers with trying patients, involves visualizing an envelope of white light (or any color you feel imparts power) around your entire body. Think of it as a shield that blocks out negativity or physical discomfort but allows what’s positive to filter in.

Look for positive people and situations.

Call a friend who sees the good in others. Spend time with a colleague who affirms the bright side of things. Listen to hopeful people. Hear the faith they have in themselves and others. Also relish hopeful words, songs, and art forms. Hope is contagious and it will lift your mood.

Keep practicing these strategies. You don’t have to re-invent the wheel each time you’re on emotional overload. With strategies to cope, you can have quicker retorts to stressful situations, feel safer, and your sensitivities can blossom.

Written by Dr Judith Orloff

Article Sourced Angel Shadows Blog

Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s new book “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” (Harmony Books, 2009)