The problem isn’t that we have problems.


The problem isn’t that we have problems. The problem is we’ve become weak. and we make most of the problems ourselves. There’s far too many people looking for “someone” or some “thing” to blame for their lot or stages in life. We’ve become a world consisting of a self-serving, hedonistic life-style that only breeds further contempt, shame, cynicism, and fear…HATERS, Look…

Read more>>The problem isn’t that we have problems..

To forgive takes strength to set aside what is often justifiable anger.

To forgive really is divine. It takes strength to set aside what is often justifiable anger. It’s much easier to hold a grudge. Yet when we make the choice and allow ourselves to put aside that anger and to forgive those who have harmed us, we actually do ourselves a great service. Making the conscious decision to let go of pain is the beginning of healing. But doing so is challenging because it is easy to become attached to seeing oneself as a victim and to hold onto resentment, even when the person who has harmed us is genuinely sorry. Forgiving someone is both one of the most difficult and one of the most spiritually rewarding choices we can make. Read more>>>>To forgive takes strength to set aside what is often justifiable anger..

Can You Change?

can you change

Can You Change?

Do you really believe that everyone can change his or her lives for the better? Of course you can and it takes only one decision. The issue exists that even when you decide to change your life for the better, you are up against the sum total of all your missed opportunities (past mistakes). So, it does not seem as easy as just a decision. However, the decision is the starting point. Anyone can change because we know that change is a constant, therefore we are always evolving. This means that we are always in a period of change.

The blockages that you come up against are those that are created by yourself believing that you cannot change and from others who want to see you hurt because it makes them feel better. Let’s look at each blockage a little more in detail, which will hopefully enlighten you as to the methods or ways to overcome these blockages.

The human being is a very resilient animal, yet if you bring in the spiritual aspect into the equation life becomes a rollercoaster and you are the one in control. It takes on a new meaning, rather like panning for gold and recognizing that you have just struck the mother load.

Believe in yourself! How many times have you heard this statement? I bet you have heard it many times over. It’s not as easy as you think, but the truth is that if you do not believe in yourself, you will find it very difficult to change anything or achieve anything. Many people fail at this first hurdle and it seems that everything you really want to be or change for the better is so far in the distance.

If you believe in a higher power you can believe in yourself and if you have difficulty with believing in a higher power, yet you are beginning to believe in yourself you can bet the higher power is at work. This is because you are a spiritual being and have an amazing power that you can harness to better yourself. No matter what you think of yourself, you have the right to happiness and this is a matter of choice.

Perhaps if you begin to really feel that you deserve happiness and no matter what causes lay in the past, you have the power to make the present wonderful by knowing that you can make the changes that are necessary. Every positive thing you do for yourself and in service to others strengthens your resolve for change to be affected.

Now even after you have gotten over that hurdle and you are beginning to feel better about yourself, you find another hurdle. This is the hurdle that is erected, not by yourself but by those who are damaged themselves and who do not want you to succeed in anything.

The truth is that many people are suffering needlessly and normally due to the three lacks. The Three Lacks are the same spiritual lessons that the Great Spirit has always wished to impart to us and that is;

  • Love
  • Forgiveness
  • Compassion

These are the three lacks that are also the spiritual lessons of life. If we lack in any of these three lessons or attributes, then we cause suffering not only to ourselves but also to those around us. This also means these people will act in such a way that will cause suffering to you because it makes them feel good, powerful and self gratifies themselves.

Hurdles that are borne from the Lacks are erected by those who do not wish you to change and who show you no compassion, love or forgiveness because it fuels their ego and makes them feel good. This is the worse type of suffering and no one deserves to suffer in life. So how do you deal with those Damaged People?

What you have to show or give is what they lack in themselves. Never retaliate, use loving speech and do not feed your negative seeds or the negative energy that may surround you. This reminds me of an old Cherokee Indian story that denotes the profound spiritual truth. A Chief from the Cherokee Nation was talking with his son.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight between two wolves.” The young boy listened intently. “One wolf is evil, unhappy, and ugly: He is anger, envy, war, greed, selfishness, sorrow, regret, guilt, resentment, inferiority/superiority, false pride, coarseness, and arrogance.

He spreads lies, deceit, fear, hatred, blame, scarcity, poverty, and divisiveness.” “The other wolf is beautiful and good: He is friendly, joyful, loving, worthy, serene, humble, kind, benevolent, just, fair, empathetic, generous, honest, compassionate, grateful, brave, and inspiring resting wholeheartedly in deep vision beyond ordinary wisdom.” The son paused in deep reflection of what his father had just said. Then he exclaimed; “Oyee! (In recognition).

His father continued; “This same fight is going on inside you and inside all human beings even though they fail to recognize it.” The young boy paused in deep reflection and recognition of what his grandfather had just said. Then he finally cried out deeply, “Oyee! Grandfather, which wolf will win this horrific war?” The elder Cherokee replied, “The wolf that you feed. That wolf will surely win!” Sometimes the greatest weapon you have is silence for within the silence is the nourishment for the soul.

Don’t feed fears for the fear will become the angry wolf and do not feed those that would seek to block you with your fear. You have the right to happiness as everyone has that right, and not one person should judge. You have to forgive yourself before you can forgive others and even though your path may seem blocked your light will shine and resilience will become stronger. You will leap over the hurdle that others erect.

The last and final hurdle that you will come across in your quest for change is the support network that you have around you. If you have no support you cannot stand. If your legs are taken from you, will you crawl on your belly or will you recognize that your spiritual legs can carry you further than the physical and material?

As a spiritual being, you can transcend any problem that is presented in the material world. Maybe your support network does not seem to be around you. The truth is that you have the support of the spirit and when the spirit is strong, it can answer the call that nature requires of it. You are a spiritual being that can overcome these hurdles and all you have to do is recognize the power of the spirit no matter what life throws at you.

The past is gone; the future has not arrived so the only time to live is now in the present moment.

Jock  Brocas –    About the Author:

Jock Brocas is a professional Psychic Medium who was natural from birth yet  developed later in life. Jock has dedicated his later years to his own spiritual  development and the professional development of his psychic and mediumship  gifts. Being a professional Psychic Medium is very rewarding but also has its  inherent problems. Nevertheless, Jock believes in the sanctity of mediumship and  takes his work as a psychic medium very seriously.

Jock is known for  giving irrefutable evidence and some of which can be validated much later. Jock  is passionate about the science of psychic mediumship and works closely with  many professionals in this field. He does not give general information that some  psychics throw out and prefers the protocol of scientifically controlled  telephone appointments. Jock very rarely gives psychic readings face-to-face  unless pre booked.

Jock developed his psychic gifts and mediumship later  in life when he was visited by a spirit. At first, this visitation shocked him  and terrified him, which led him into the true vocation he was here for, a  psychic medium’s life. He learned from his past and recognized that he was being  groomed to work for spirit all his life – from growing up with spiritual leaders  and spending time with religious communities – the path was being prepared. He  is also a trained vocalist and is currently working on an Album to be released  at some point in the future.

Jock Brocas (Psychic Medium) has studied  many martial arts in the past and dedicated his later years to the study of  Budo. He has amalgamated what he has learned in Budo and as a psychic medium to  help change individuals lives for the better.

 

Forgiveness: Is Holding On To Anger Holding You Back?

Last week a friend shared with me about a falling out she’s had with her brother and his new wife, following a remark that caused her offense.  My friend promptly issued an apology for her insensitivity once she’d realized her mistake, but her new sister-in-law has refused to accept it and hasn’t spoken to her since.  Her brother has backed his wife, leaving my friend feeling first hurt and upset – but now also angry.

forgivenessI’m sure that you have experienced people who haven’t always been reasonable or rational to deal with; people who can be quick to judge and slow to forgive — even worse, people who have acted maliciously toward you or left you feeling betrayed.  And perhaps, like my friend, you’ve found yourself feeling pretty angry or hurt as a result.

It’s only natural to sometimes find ourselves feeling resentful toward people who are behaving in a self-centered, mean spirited or just “not very evolved” way.  But holding on to that resentment is not only psychologically harmful; it’s physiologically unhealthy. I’m sure you’ve heard me say anger acts like a cancer that can spread throughout all the corners of our life, infiltrate our relationships with people who had nothing to do with the original “crime,”  and take years off our life.  Literally.  Clinical studies have proven the very real link between the emotion of anger and the development of heart disease and numerous other unsavory ailments and illnesses.  They’ve also proven the medicinal value of letting it go.

The stronger your anger, the greater the reason to let it go.

The only way to let go of anger is through forgiveness: of yourself and of those you feel have ‘wronged’ you.  Holding on to it is akin to swallowing a bottle of poison and waiting for the other person to die.  But as you may know all too well, forgiving is easier said than done.  While we may intellectually understand its benefits, sometimes we still end up in the midst of a head vs. heart tug of war with an indignant voice in our head protesting “What the hell?!  That schmuck doesn’t deserve my forgiveness!”  That voice comes from the dark side of our ego, something Dr. Freud called our “Id”.  It feeds on righteousness and gets a payoff from being right, from making others wrong, and clinging to its claim on victimhood — even at the expense of our health and happiness.  Needless to say, it can leave you wallowing in a sea of righteousness, that leaves you feeling anything from mildly pissed off to drowning in rage.

Forgiveness is not a question of whether others are deserving of it.  Because forgiveness is ultimately not about them; it’s about you. More specifically, it’s about how you choose to respond to your anger; whether to let it consume you, or to let it go and live more wholeheartedly as a result.  At the heart of forgiveness is to let go the power an event from the past has on your future.  Holding fast to your claim on anger renders you a victim to yourself.  You may have had no choice whether to feel pain at the time the “offense” was committed, but you do now.  That doesn’t mean forgetting what happened in the past, nor letting others “off the hook” for their transgression.  Sandra Bullock forgave Jesse James; she still left him.  It just means, to repeat something I heard Oprah Winfrey say, that you give up the hope that the past can ever be any different.

So as my friend confided to me about her own growing resentment, I suggested that maybe this was a really wonderful opportunity for her to practice forgiveness: forgiving her brother and new sister-in-law for simply being the fallible human beings that they are.  That we all are, just at varying places along our journey; and as I reminded my friend, it can’t be much fun to be someone who takes offense so quickly and is so committed to feeling wronged.

What about you?  Is there someone you need to forgive?  Through the simple yet profoundly courageous act of forgiveness, you expand what is possible for you in every arena of your life and enlarge your capacity to give and receive love in every, yes every, relationship.

Holding fast to your claim on anger renders you a victim to yourself.

Forgiveness is not always a one-off event.  Some wounds take longer to heal.  So be patient with yourself when anger simmers back up to the surface.  You are, after all, a “human becoming.”   Just know that within you lies all the courage you need to release your past into the past, and to enlarge your future possibilities for health and for happiness, for life and for love.  Surely that’s worth the effort.

Margie Warrell – About the Author:

Margie Warrell; thought leader in human potential, master life coach, international speaker, media contributor and best-selling author of Find Your Courage. Take the Courage Quiz, watch Margie’s TV interviews (TODAY show, Fox, CNBC) and sign up for her free LIVE BOLDLY! newsletter. Then order your personally autographed Amazon best-seller book Find Your Courage

40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain

Letting go brings clarityEckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.

We replay past mistakes over and over again in our head, allowing feelings of shame and regret to shape our actions in the present. We cling to frustration and worry about the future, as if the act of fixation somehow gives us power. We hold stress in our minds and bodies, potentially creating serious health issues, and accept that state of tension as the norm.

Though it may sound simple, Ajahn Chah’s advice speaks volumes:

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.”

There will never be a time when life is simple. There will always be time to practice accepting that. Every moment is a chance to let go and feel peaceful. Here are 40 ideas to get started:

 

Let Go Of Frustration with Yourself/Your Life

1. Learn a new skill instead of dwelling on the skills you never mastered.

2. Change your perception—see the root cause as a blessing in disguise.

3. Cry it out. According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D., biochemist at the Ramset Medical Center in Minneapolis crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.

4. Channel your discontent into an immediate positive action—make some calls about new job opportunities, or walk to the community center to volunteer.

5. Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment (instead of dwelling on the past of worrying about the future.)

6. Make a list of your accomplishments—even the small ones— and add to it daily. You’ll have to let go of a little discontentment to make space for this self satisfaction.

7. Visualize a box in your head labeled “Expectations.” Whenever you start dwelling on how things should be or should have been, mentally shelve the thoughts in this box.

8. Engage in a physical activity. Exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind.

9. Focus all your energy on something you can actually control, instead of dwelling on things you can’t.

10. Express your feelings through a creative outlet, like blogging or painting. Add this to your to-do list and cross it off when you’re done. This gives you permission to shift your focus after the activity.

Let go of Anger and Bitterness

11. Feel it fully. If you stifle your feelings, they may leak out and affect everyone around you—not just the person who inspired your anger. Before you can let go of any emotion you have to feel it fully.

12. Give yourself a rant window. Let yourself vent for a day before confronting the person who troubled you. This will diffuse the hostility and give you time to plan a rational confrontation.

13. Remind yourself that anger hurts you more than the person who upset you, and visualize it melting away as an act of kindness to yourself.

14. Use Psychologist Steven Stosny’s HEALS technique to prevent impulsive action, which will only prolong the negative feelings.

15. Take responsibility. Many times when you’re angry, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong—which essentially gives away your power. When you focus on what you could have done better, you often feel empowered and less bitter.

16. Put yourself in the offender’s shoes. We all make mistakes; and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. Compassion dissolves anger.

17. Metaphorically throw it away; i.e., jog on the beach with a backpack full of tennis balls. After you’ve built up a bit of rush, toss the balls one by one, labeling each as a part of your anger. (You’ll need to retrieve these—litter angers the earth!)

18. Use a stress ball, and express your anger physically and vocally when you use it. Make a scrunched up face or grunt. You may feel silly, but this allows you to actually express what you’re feeling inside.

19. Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and gently flick it when you start obsessing on angry thoughts. This trains your mind to associate that type of persistent negativity with something unpleasant.

20. Remind yourself these are your only three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does.

Let Go Of Past Relationships

21. Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure.

22. Write everything you want to express in a letter. Even if you choose not to send it, clarifying your feelings will help you come to terms with reality as it is now.

23. Remember both the good and the bad. Even if appears this way now, the past was not perfect. Acknowledging this may minimize your sense of loss. As Laura Oliver says, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.”

24. Un-romanticize the way you view love. Of course you’ll feel devastated if you believe you lost your soul mate. If you think you can find a love that amazing or better again it will be easier to move on.

25. Visualize an empowered single you—the person you were before meeting your last love. That person was pretty awesome, and now you have the chance to be him or her again.

26. Create a space that reflects your present reality. Take down his pictures; delete her emails from your saved folder.

27. Reward yourself for small acts of acceptance. Get a facial after you delete his number from your phone, or head to the local bar after putting all her things in a box.

28. Hang this statement somewhere you can see it. “Letting go is love. Holding on is attachment.”

29. Replace your emotional thoughts with facts. When you think, “I’ll never feel loved again!” don’t resist that feeling. Instead, move on to another thought, like “I learned a new song for karaoke tonight.”

30. Use the silly voice technique. According to Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap, swapping the voice in your head with a cartoon voice will help take back power from the troubling thought.

Let Go Of Stress

31. Use a deep breathing technique, like ujayii, to soothe yourself and seep into the present moment.

32. Immerse yourself in a group activity. Enjoying the people in your life may help put your problems in perspective.

33. Consider this quotation by Eckhart Tolle:Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” Questioning how your stress serves you may help you let it go.

34. Metaphorically release it. Write down all your stresses and toss the paper into your fireplace.

35. Replace your thoughts. Notice when you begin thinking about something that stresses you so you can shift your thought process to something more pleasant—like your passion for your hobby.

36. Take a sauna break. Studies reveal that people who go to sauna at least twice a week for 10-30 minutes are less stressed after work than others with similar jobs who don’t.

37. Use this clever technique by Peak Personal Performance to fully digest and release your stress about a situation.

38. Organize your desk. According to Georgia Witkin, assistant director of psychiatry at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, completing a small task increases your sense of control and decreases your stress level.

39. Use it up. Make two lists: one with the root causes of your stress, and one with actions to address them. As you complete these tasks, visualize yourself utilizing and depleting your “stress supply.”

40. Laugh it out. Research shows that laughter soothes tension, improves your immune system, and even eases pain. If you can’t relax for long, start with just ten minutes watching a funny video on YouTube.

It’s a long list, but there’s much left to be said! Can you think of anything to add to this list—other areas of life where we need to practice letting go, and other techniques to start doing it right now?

 

Written by Lori Deschene

Article Source tiny buddha

Spring Clean Your Past

letting-go-butterflyIt never ceases to amaze me how we continue to punish ourselves and hold onto resentments for things which have happened in the past. We carry these bad feelings around with us like painful baggage for years and years and often deny ourselves the life we truly deserve to live as deep down, we feel like ‘bad’ people and that we don’ t deserve good things. I often see this in my coaching sessions – if someone is having the same old patterns appearing in their lives over and over again, or if they are continually not taking the correct action in order to achieve a goal, it is often because they have a pile of ‘uncompleted’ tasks or that deep down they don’t believe they deserve any better.

Sometimes, we need to clean the slate of our past in order to let in a fantastic new future. It’s just like planting a new garden – you have to remove some of the debris, stones and old weeds. We have all heard the phrase ‘you have to get rid of the old to make room for the new’.

Closure and forgiving yourself for past events is very important and if you are willing to look deeply into your past and bring closure to some of these things, it will be much easier to move forward into the future. It helps us build a solid new foundation to create the life we truly want to live. We cannot really create the wonderful new life we desire on a past which is filled with incomplete tasks, painful relationships, broken agreements and unresolved issues.

If we don’t clean up our past and make peace with it, we may develop addictions; drama and upset in order to avoid the painful feelings. This can then cause emotions such as hopelessness, sarcasm, cynicism, loneliness, or emptiness.

For us to have a breakthrough, and open up to the possibility of a wonderful new future, we must first look to our past and be willing to uncover the ways we may have deceived or disappointed ourselves and others. We must take a look into how we have sabotaged ourselves and own up to it all! We must look at all the unresolved wounds that we are still dragging around with us from the past and be willing to let them go.

Sometimes we get so attached to what happened in the past that we really don’t want to let it go. Perhaps it is because we have longed for some resolution, an apology or a different outcome. And so, instead of letting go and moving on, we choose to hold onto our pain, our grudges as we don’t want to give up on what we believe we are owed to us. However, the problem with t his approach is that if we need someone else to do something before we have closure, there is a good chance that we will never get it!

( And we are giving this person the power to rule our lives).

We actually cannot count on someone else to give us the closure that we need. We must give this to ourselves. If we are to be 100% responsible for our own life, we must find a way of giving this closure to ourselves so that we can move on. The closure process supports us in healing our past and making peace with ourselves. Closure gives us freedom!

Holding onto your past is like collecting news paper articles from 10, 20,30, years ago and carrying them with you wherever you go. Would you choose to read these newspapers every day going over each upsetting story in your head over and over again? Would you carry these papers with you from job to job, relationship to relationship? Would you repeat the stories in these newspapers to your friends over and over again?

To move forward, we must recognise what we are carrying around with us and make a commitment to finding closure.

If we don’t bring closure to our hurts, resentments, regret or guilt, we can be certain that what is unfinished from the past will arrive in our future and destroy our plans for a wonderful future. If we keep hold of negative emotions we become stuck in the old negative energy and will be unconsciously attracted to situations and people which mirror our past bringing up the same patterns over and over again. It is only when we free ourselves of this negative energy that we can move forward!

Take Action!

Make a list today of all the unresolved projects, tasks and relationship which are keeping you tied to the past. Identify the actions you will need to take to bring closure to each one of them. Even if it is not possible for you to make contact with the person concerned – write it down anyway! Imagine how great it will feel to have a clean slate!

 

Article written by Lisa Phillips