Responsibility and Blame

blame

Responsibility and Blame

What is the difference between responsibility and blame? The most basic answer to that question is judgment; when you blame you judge. According to Merriam Webster, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible as a: moral, legal, or mental accountability. Blame, however, is defined by finding fault with someone or something.  The most obvious difference when examining these definitions is judgment. If someone blames you for something, they have found fault with something that you have done or some decision that you made. If you are to blame then something you have said or done has caused an adverse or undesired outcome.

Read more >>>> Responsibility and Blame.

The problem isn’t that we have problems.


The problem isn’t that we have problems. The problem is we’ve become weak. and we make most of the problems ourselves. There’s far too many people looking for “someone” or some “thing” to blame for their lot or stages in life. We’ve become a world consisting of a self-serving, hedonistic life-style that only breeds further contempt, shame, cynicism, and fear…HATERS, Look…

Read more>>The problem isn’t that we have problems..

How much do you love your kids?

“How much do you love your children? Because attracting the wrong people into their lives is on your head! meaning the type of friends and people you choose to be around you and your children”

 

Setting the right foundations from the very beginning, from the moment they start watching you is so important, and continuing throughout as they grow. It is an important part of our parenting involving making decisions making sure your children are not surrounded by the wrong type of people. I mean come on your not stupid  you know what I mean  if you have major selfish ‘me me me’ drama kings  or queens around your children .. That is not taking responsibility is it!  Having responsibilities and having duties to perform in keeping our kids safe at all times is one of our main priorities.

Read more >>> How much do you love your kids?

What is Self-respect and How Does it Relate to Self-esteem?

The terms “self-esteem” and “self-respect” may seem at first glance very similar, if not exactly the same. But they are indeed very different things and have very different consequences, especially when cultivated at a young age.

i-amPsychiatrists, psychologists, counselors and other experts for years have encouraged parents and teachers to cultivate self-esteem in kids. About thirty years ago, it became very popular among child experts to tout self-esteem as the solution to all our children’s problems. We’ve heard it a million times—high self-esteem is good, low self-esteem is bad. But what does this really mean and what effect does it have in the long-term?

Self-esteem means simply thinking highly of one’s self. Many parents, teachers and psychologists feel that by showering a child with praise, he or she will grow up with a positive attitude and confidence. But often self-esteem that is left unchecked can develop into destructive behavior: thinking less of others, un-gratefulness, arrogance, cockiness. The pursuit of self-esteem can become, as described by family psychologist and parenting expert John Rosemond, “an excuse to do your own thing—regardless of whether or not the “thing” in question is anti-social—and quickly mutate[s] into self-worship.”

Self-respect, on the other hand, is a mindset that allows us to become grateful, humble and well-adjusted. Self-respect encompasses respect not just of ourselves, but also of others. In fact, by respecting our fellow humans we can learn to respect ourselves more. When we have self-respect, we love ourselves but do not become arrogant or cocky. As Rosemond puts it, “A person growing in self-respect understands that he is an imperfect being who was given the gift of life in order to serve.”

Self-respect is akin to the Golden Rule: in order to receive respect and learn to respect ourselves, we must learn to give respect to others. And while having confidence is not a bad thing, people who are over-confident (and who are often seen as arrogant) haven’t learned this principle—that in order to get respect from others and from ourselves, we must first learn to give.

Self-respect is gained “not by being told how wonderful you are,” Rosemond writes. “But by developing respect for others.”

As you’ve probably experienced, people who have grown up being told how great they are usually aren’t very fun to be around and don’t make very good friends. But people who have been taught to take an interest in and care about others while maintaining a positive attitude about themselves tend to be the type of interesting people with whom we enjoy spending time.

By encouraging our children’s individuality and growth by teaching them to be confident yet humble and respectful, we can help them become adults who have healthy, stable relationships and friendships, and respect for themselves and others.

Mark Arens – About the Author:

Help your children to gain self-respect by taking one step at a time. One way to accomplish this is to help your child set goals.

What is normal? (via A World of Inspiration and a little extra!)

 I hWhat is normal?ave been thinking a lot about the word ‘normal’ lately and have been catching up on my feed reading where I have found a mountain of people struggling with situations caused by this word ‘normal’. Whether it be in relation to sexuality and where you fit on the Kinsey scale or whether it be about being gay or whether it be about what is normal for a person of your age it is all very confusing. Normal, is often perceived by social norms but even … Read More

via A World of Inspiration and a little extra!

Free our children..

Posted byJoanne Wellington for Mediums World
Children Archer

Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of life longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
As living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
And he bends you with his might
That his arrows may go swift and far,
Let your bending in the archer’s hand before gladness;
For ever as he  loves the arrow that flies,
So he loves also the bow that is stable.
Kahlil Gibran (From “The Prophet“)

 

Commentary by Joanne Wellington

Due to our attachment with our children, it is quite common to have a feeling that we own them – especially in their younger years. Many parents consider children an extension of themselves and thus thrust their dreams upon them – in a way using them to fulfill what they could not fulfill in their own lives – to complete themselves in a sense. Also since parents derive pride from the achievements of children, there is a tendency to push them to perform in many ways, not considering what the child really wants.

It is important to realize that children come with their own individuality, their own purpose, which may not be in alignment with what we as parents have in mind for them. Children are like seeds that a gardener sows. What the gardener can do is to provide the best environment in which the seed can sprout, mature, and become the tree the seed came here to be. As a devoted caretaker, the gardener ensures that the plant gets the right support it needs at different stages in order to grow well. However whether the seed will become a mango tree or a fig tree, the gardener cannot control – that has been already determined by something within the seed.

Every soul desires freedom. Only love is not enough – binding someone we love is not real love. We must set our children free to sing the song they came here to sing. Restricting/Controlling what a child can become builds resentment which can last a lifetime, and can bring regret to parents. It can also cause developmental issues where the child perceives everyone around them as inhibiting their freedom, thus making them less effective in all relationships they form throughout life. From a spiritual standpoint, children only come through us – we do not create them. It is a privilege that they have happened through us. The best we can do is enjoy the privilege that another life chose to come through us into this world, and support their purpose to the best of our abilities.

♥ .•´ ¸.•*¨)   blessings … ♥ (¸.•´(¸.• Joanne ¯`•.¸¸.♥