Is Your Soul Broken?

A broken soul is related to how you feel about yourself, your truest, deepest  and most honest beliefs; your philosophy about life; your original ideas and  sincerest thoughts, feelings, emotions and sense of what is right and wrong.  Your soul is who you are when no one is looking; where no one else can see. Your  outside persona includes your physical body, spoken and written words, habits,  actions and behaviors.

How can a person break their soul?

broken-heartEvery time you lie to yourself, go against your own sense of fairness,  compassion and integrity; fail to follow your dreams and utilize your gifts and  talents, hurt someone you love consciously or unconsciously you detach the  spiritual bond between your body and your soul. When you believe in one thing  and you act and behave in an opposite manner, you become an empty vessel, a  shell, a person without substance. Your physical body is alive, but it is hollow  and vacant because it lacks integrity and meaning. Many of today’s young  celebrities such as Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears, Nicole Richie  and even the late Anna Nicole Smith may have broken souls. These young, wealthy,  physically beautiful women have the outside appearance of prosperity, but their  actions and behaviors do not exemplify inner peace.

We live in a culture that tells us that when ever something is ailing us; we  can fix it with a psychotropic drug, weight  loss or cosmetic surgery. The  other portion of society tells us that we need to join organized religious  communities. None of these suggestions are wrong depending on the individual’s  personality and emotional needs; but it is essential and crucial that each  person learn to take an honest look within them selves to determine if they are  doing everything within their own power to their best of their ability to  promote health, wealth, peace, love and happiness in their own lives.

The only way that you can re-attach your soul to your body is by aligning  your thoughts, words and actions into one being.

Is a broken soul similar to a broken heart?

A broken heart can cause a broken soul when you continue to repeat the  patterns that caused your heart to break. For example, continuing to pick the  same type of guy without looking within yourself to analyze why you are  attracted to certain types of men. However, a broken soul does not typically  lead to broken heart because it is impossible to deeply care about others when  you don’t truly know, love or care about yourself.

Examples of Broken Souls

Scenario A: Fidelity

1. Beliefs, personal moral code of right & wrong, honest emotions /  feelings
You believe in fidelity. You want to be in a relationship with a  person whom you can trust.

2. Words, what you tell others orally or in writing.
You make a vow to be  faithful. You tell your mate that you are faithful.

3. Actions, behaviors, habits- What you do
You cheat on your mate.

Scenario B: Education

1. Beliefs, personal moral code of right & wrong, honest emotions /  feelings

You believe that education is important. You have always wanted to practice  law.

2. Words, what you tell others orally or in writing.

You tell everyone that you are going back to school to earn your degree.

3. Actions, behaviors, habits- What you do
You watch television and hang  out with friends in the evenings. You picked up an application once, but never  filled it out.

Scenario C: Following your Dreams

1. Beliefs, personal moral code of right & wrong, honest emotions /  feelings
You feel happiest when you are singing, dancing or involved in any  type of performance. You love music with every cell of your heart, mind and  body. People tell you that you are talented and gifted as a singer.

2. Words, what you tell others orally or in writing.
To impress your  parents, teachers and naysayers, you tell everyone that you are going to college  to be a doctor.

3. Actions, behaviors, habits- What you do
You are enrolled in a pre-med  program. You try to ignore the pain in your stomach, your headaches and the deep  misery that you feel inside. You rationalize your unhappiness by telling  yourself that doctors make good money and  your family will be so proud of you.

Scenario D: Being true to yourself

1. Beliefs, personal moral code of right & wrong, honest emotions /  feelings

You love to write.

2. Words, what you tell others orally or in writing.

You tell every one about the book you are going to write some day.

3. Actions, behaviors, habits- What you do
You never write because you  are tired when you get home from work and exhausted from the daily demands of  taking care of your family.

Scenario E: Being true to yourself

1. Beliefs, personal moral code of right & wrong, honest emotions /  feelings

You want to lose weight to improve your health.

2. Words, what you tell others orally or in writing.

You tell every one that you are on a diet.

3. Actions, behaviors, habits- What you do
You don’t exercise. You make  unhealthy food choices.

Scenario F: Having Faith

1. Beliefs, personal moral code of right & wrong, honest emotions /  feelings
In your heart and spirit, you believe in God, a Superior Being or a  Higher Power bigger than yourself. You feel that your deepest dreams, desires,  wants and needs will manifest in your life.

2. Words, what you tell others orally or in writing.
You tell everyone  about your amazing faith, trust and belief in God or a Higher Power. You tell  other people to have faith and believe.

3. Actions, behaviors, habits- What you do
You cry yourself to sleep each  night because you are worried about your bills being paid and how you are going  to provide for your family. You haven’t looked for a new job, or started your  own business because people say, “the economy is bad.”

If you do an honest assessment of what is really bothering you and all of the  things that you can start doing at this very moment to change your life, you  will begin to heal your soul. Guaranteed.

10 Signs of a Broken Soul

1. You have a drinking or substance abuse problem.

2. You have been depressed for more than 6 weeks

3. You feel no enjoyment for life.

4. You are in a sexually, physically or psychologically abusive  relationship.

5. You are actively involved in criminal or illegal activity.

6. You have reoccurring suicidal thoughts

7. You have an eating disorder

8. You are abusing someone else physically, psychologically or sexually.

9. You are not doing anything productive with your time.

10. You constantly complain about hating yourself or your life.

Techniques to heal a Broken Soul

1. Validate yourself. Start exactly where you are. Call your self beautiful.  Start your business. Do not seek external validation from any one.

2. Go on a journey of self-exploration. What is your favorite color, food,  song, movie, day of the week, holiday. Everything that you love is a clue to the  mystery of who you are. The things that you love are internal pieces that create  the external picture of who you are.

3. Forgive everything and everybody. No exceptions.

4. Practice random acts of kindness. Put a dime in an expired parking meter.  Pay for someone’s breakfast, dinner or lunch without revealing yourself. Put  toilet paper in a public restroom for the next person. Shovel someone’s snow or  rake their leaves without them knowing who did it. Leave a tip on some else’s  table. Find unique ways to put a smile on other people’s faces. Their smiles  will make you smile.

5. Ask for forgiveness–it doesn’t matter if they accept your apology. This  gives them the opportunity to heal when they are ready.
Forgive yourself for  past mistakes.

6. Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself. Read the self-forgiveness  letter to yourself each night until you are able to let go. You can’t forgive  yourself until you are emotionally ready to forgive yourself.

7. Give yourself 6 months to make one change. Don’t try to change too many  things about yourself at one time; this is overwhelming. If you try to stop smoking, don’t include losing 50 lbs, and find  a cure for cancer. Take it slow and steady.

8. Watch Shawshank Redemption, the Pursuit of Happyness or any other movie  that gives you hope.

9. Find one thing that you absolutely love about yourself and think about it  once a day, all day long.

Author: Cassandra George Sturges MA, MA, Psy.D

Cassandra George Sturges MA, MA, Psy.D is a mother of two teenagers, a  full-time psychology instructor, advice columnists for Today’s Black Woman  Magazine, Seminar facilitator, author of “A Woman’s Soul on Paper” ISBN:  0595171435. Dr. Sturges is the author and publisher of Authentik Beauty  Magazine. A 1 year subscription to Authentik Beauty Magazine is only $49.99 for  6 issues; mail request to: Authentik Beauty Magazine, P.O. Box 980679,  Ypsilanti, MI 48197. Caution: Articles and clip art are sensuously and  beautifully designed for a mature audience only. We accept cash, checks &  all major credit cards. Http://authentikbeauty.blogspot.com

Make The Right Choices

The right choice

Make The Right Choices

Life’s greatest gift

What is life’s greatest gift? It is free will or choice. Choice is the ability to select one course of action from a set of alternatives to achieve a goal. What is so great about choice? It transforms us from dumb animals into artists. Each of us becomes another Michelangelo, for choice is nothing other than the chisel we use to sculpt our life. The chisel doesn’t come free, however, for the price of choice is responsibility. But when we accept and carry out our responsibility, the reward is great. The reward is happiness.

Life is not static, it is a flow. Every choice we make leads us closer to or further from our goals. We constantly need to monitor where we are on our journey. We need to ask questions: Am I moving closer to my goals? If not, what corrective measures can I take? What action will I take now to realign myself with my goals? Choice is power. Choice is at the heart of life; it is the creative power of life.

You make choices every day, and your life becomes more convenient or comfortable because of them. For example, you decide which stores to shop at and which gas station to patronize. But the decisions we make that sculpt our lives are far more important than deciding where to shop. The more we appreciate the difference between minor and major decisions, the greater the likelihood that we will experience happiness and fulfilment.

All chess lovers realize that it isn’t necessary to win to enjoy the game. The pleasure is in the playing. Life is like a chess game. Make the best moves (choices) you can under the circumstances. If you live by this rule, you will always enjoy the game of life, regardless of its outcome.

How to Make the Right Choices

Each day, we make countless choices. How can we be sure we are making the right decisions? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Be aware of where the road leads

Choose intelligence. Not every decision we make is a moral choice. Sometimes its just a matter of choosing between stupidity and intelligence. For example, if you are a young non-smoker and your friend offers you a cigarette, don’t take it. That would be stupid. If you’re looking for the path to happiness, it is easy to find. Just avoid the paths with signs that say STUPID and follow those that say SMART. Easy enough to do, but you have to remember to check the signs before you start down a path. As Harry Emerson Fosdick wrote;

“He who chooses the beginning of a road chooses the place it leads to. It is the means that determine the end.”

Harry Emerson Fosdick

Whenever we are at a fork in the road, we will find that one of the paths is easy to take, but that may be the only thing good about it. So, look carefully. You may find that one path tempts you and the other ennobles you. Choice the one that ennobles you. Learn how to withdraw from temptation. For as it is written in the Bhagavad Gita, “Even as a tortoise draws in its limbs, the wise can draw in their senses at will.”

Besides the paths of SMART and STUPID or GOOD and BAD, there is yet another road, and it leads nowhere. It is the road of non-action. It is the path of no-choice. Whenever we face choices and refuse to decide, that refusal is our decision. By refusing, we turn over control to the tides of fate, and instead of shaping our lives, we decide to drift wherever the tides and currents will take us.

2. Do what you can

Decide what you CAN do, not what you WANT to do. Our wants are insatiable. We want to do everything. But how can we become anything if we want to become everything? Choose worthwhile goals that you have time for. Set priorities and focus on the important issues. If you run out of time before getting to the minor tasks, at least you would have done the important ones.

Choose to carry out your responsibilities not because you HAVE to, but because you WANT to. Tasks that you HAVE to do create pressure and stress. Actions that you WANT to do, lead to the joy of accomplishment and freedom from inner conflict. Choose to learn how to WANT to do those tasks that you should be doing. For in the end, you will do only what you want to do. Similarly, when you cant have what you want, choose to want what you have.

3. Look for the good

Some of us may be undergoing great hardships. But no life is so difficult that it cannot be made better by improving our attitude. No matter how dire the circumstances, if you look for some good, you will find it. But how can we find anything good if we occupy our time complaining?

The rule to remember is that we are certain to find what we look for. If we search for good, we will find it. If we search for something to complain about, we will surely find it. Choose to search for good. And choose to believe something good can and will happen. Choose to live with hope, rather than despair. Don’t be a dope. Learn to cope. Live with hope.

4. If you cant change the circumstances, change yourself

We cannot choose what will happen TO us, but we can choose what happens IN us. That is, we can choose to have the right attitude, one in which we view challenges as opportunities instead of problems. Choose to be positive. For example, although he became confined to a wheelchair after his accident, W. Mitchell (author, TV host, and businessman) said, “Before I was paralyzed there were 10,000 things I could do; now there are 9,000. I can either dwell on the 1,000 I’ve lost or focus on the 9,000 I have left.”

5. Be aware of your choices

When we act out of habit rather than conscious choice, the path were traveling on is a rut, perhaps even a slippery slope. If we don’t want to end up at the wrong place, we have to be awake. We have to be aware and make our choices consciously. The best way to do this is to develop the habit of always looking for opportunities. Scout Cloud Lee also writes about conscious choice: “When we acknowledge that all of life is sacred and that each act is an act of choice and therefore sacred, then life is a sacred dance lived consciously each moment. When we live at this level, we participate in the creation of a better world.”

Look around you. There are great people everywhere. Champions, victors. And they’re all rooting for you. They are voting for you because they want you to win. Unfortunately, you are also surrounded by losers, people who want to drag you down. They are voting against you. Half are for you. Half are against you. How will this closely contested drama turn out? It all depends on you because you will be casting the deciding vote. The ballot is the choices you make. Be careful how you choose!

 
Written by Chuck Gallozzi
 
© Chuck Gallozzi

For more articles and contact information,
Visit http://www.personal-development.com/chuck

Ego – The False Centre

The ego is not individual. Ego is a social phenomenon - it is society, its not you. But it gives you a function in the society, a hierarchy in the society.

Ego – The False Centre

The ego is not individual. Ego is a social phenomenon – it is society, its not you. But it gives you a function in the society, a hierarchy in the society. And if you remain satisfied with it, you will miss the whole opportunity of finding the self.

And that’s why you are so miserable.

With a plastic life, how can you be happy?

With a false life, how can you be ecstatic and blissful? And then this ego creates many miseries, millions of them.

You cannot see, because it is your own darkness. You are attuned to it.

Have you ever noticed that all types of miseries enter through the ego? It cannot make you blissful; it can only make you miserable.

Ego is hell.

Whenever you suffer, just try to watch and analyze, and you will find, somewhere the ego is the cause of it. And the ego goes on finding causes to suffer.

You are an egoist, as everyone is. Some are very gross, just on the surface, and they are not so difficult. Some are very subtle, deep down, and they are the real problems.

This ego comes continuously in conflict with others because every ego is so unconfident about itself. Is has to be – it is a false thing. When you don’t have anything in your hand and you just think that something is there, then there will be a problem.

If somebody says, “There is nothing,” immediately the fight will start, because you also feel that there is nothing. The other makes you aware of the fact.

Ego is false, it is nothing.

That you also know.

How can you miss knowing it? It is impossible! A conscious being – how can he miss knowing that this ego is just false? And then others say that there is nothing – and whenever the others say that there is nothing they hit a wound, they say a truth – and nothing hits like the truth.

You have to defend, because if you don’t defend, if you don’t become defensive, then where will you be?

You will be lost.

The identity will be broken.

So you have to defend and fight – that is the clash.

A man who attains to the self is never in any clash. Others may come and clash with him, but he is never in clash with anybody.

It happened that one Zen master was passing through a street. A man came running and hit him hard. The master fell down. Then he got up and started to walk in the same direction in which he was going before, not even looking back.

A disciple was with the master. He was simply shocked. He said, “Who is this man? What is this? If one lives in such a way, then anybody can come and kill you. And you have not even looked at that person, who he is, and why he did it.” The master said, “That is his problem, not mine.”

You can clash with an enlightened man, but that is your problem, not his. And if you are hurt in that clash, that too is your own problem. He cannot hurt you. And it is like knocking against a wall – you will be hurt, but the wall has not hurt you.

The ego is always looking for some trouble. Why? Because if nobody pays attention to you, the ego feels hungry. It lives on attention.

So even if somebody is fighting and angry with you, that too is good because at least the attention is paid. If somebody loves, it is okay. If somebody is not loving you, then even anger will be good. At least the attention will come to you. But if nobody is paying any attention to you, nobody thinks that you are somebody important, significant, then how will you feed your ego?

Other’s attention is needed.

In millions of ways you attract the attention of others; you dress in a certain way, you try to look beautiful, you behave, you become very polite, you change. When you feel what type of situation is there, you immediately change so that people pay attention to you.

This is a deep begging.

A real beggar is one who asks for and demands attention. And a real emperor is one who lives in himself; he has a center of his own, he doesn’t depend on anybody else.

Buddha sitting under his bodhi tree…if the whole world suddenly disappears, will it make any difference to Buddha? – none. It will not make any difference at all. If the whole world disappears, it will not make any difference because he has attained to the centre.

But you, if the wife escapes, divorces you, goes to somebody else, you are completely shattered – because she had been paying attention to you, caring, loving, moving around you, helping you to feel that you were somebody. Your whole empire is lost, you are simply shattered. You start thinking about suicide. Why? Why, if a wife leaves you, should you commit suicide? Why, if a husband leaves you, should you commit suicide? Because you don’t have any center of your own. The wife was giving you the center; the husband was giving you the center.

This is how people exist. This is how people become dependent on others. It is a deep slavery. Ego HAS to be a slave. It depends on others. And only a person who has no ego is for the first time a master; he is no longer a slave. Try to understand this.

And start looking for the ego – not in others, that is not your business, but in yourself. Whenever you feel miserable, immediately close you eyes and try to find out from where the misery is coming and you will always find it is the false center which has clashed with someone.

From Beyond the Frontier of the Mind by Osho

Ego – The False Center

The ego is not individual. Ego is a social phenomenon – it is society, its not you. But it gives you a function in the society, a hierarchy in the society. And if you remain satisfied with it, you will miss the whole opportunity of finding the self.

And that’s why you are so miserable.

With a plastic life, how can you be happy?

With a false life, how can you be ecstatic and blissful? And then this ego creates many miseries, millions of them.

You cannot see, because it is your own darkness. You are attuned to it.

Have you ever noticed that all types of miseries enter through the ego? It cannot make you blissful; it can only make you miserable.

Ego is hell.

Whenever you suffer, just try to watch and analyze, and you will find, somewhere the ego is the cause of it. And the ego goes on finding causes to suffer.

You are an egoist, as everyone is. Some are very gross, just on the surface, and they are not so difficult. Some are very subtle, deep down, and they are the real problems.

This ego comes continuously in conflict with others because every ego is so unconfident about itself. Is has to be – it is a false thing. When you don’t have anything in your hand and you just think that something is there, then there will be a problem.

If somebody says, “There is nothing,” immediately the fight will start, because you also feel that there is nothing. The other makes you aware of the fact.

Ego is false, it is nothing.

That you also know.

How can you miss knowing it? It is impossible! A conscious being – how can he miss knowing that this ego is just false? And then others say that there is nothing – and whenever the others say that there is nothing they hit a wound, they say a truth – and nothing hits like the truth.

You have to defend, because if you don’t defend, if you don’t become defensive, then where will you be?

You will be lost.

The identity will be broken.

So you have to defend and fight – that is the clash.

A man who attains to the self is never in any clash. Others may come and clash with him, but he is never in clash with anybody.

It happened that one Zen master was passing through a street. A man came running and hit him hard. The master fell down. Then he got up and started to walk in the same direction in which he was going before, not even looking back.

A disciple was with the master. He was simply shocked. He said, “Who is this man? What is this? If one lives in such a way, then anybody can come and kill you. And you have not even looked at that person, who he is, and why he did it.”

The master said, “That is his problem, not mine.”

You can clash with an enlightened man, but that is your problem, not his. And if you are hurt in that clash, that too is your own problem. He cannot hurt you. And it is like knocking against a wall – you will be hurt, but the wall has not hurt you.

The ego is always looking for some trouble. Why? Because if nobody pays attention to you, the ego feels hungry.

It lives on attention.

So even if somebody is fighting and angry with you, that too is good because at least the attention is paid. If somebody loves, it is okay. If somebody is not loving you, then even anger will be good. At least the attention will come to you. But if nobody is paying any attention to you, nobody thinks that you are somebody important, significant, then how will you feed your ego?

Other’s attention is needed.

In millions of ways you attract the attention of others; you dress in a certain way, you try to look beautiful, you behave, you become very polite, you change. When you feel what type of situation is there, you immediately change so that people pay attention to you.

This is a deep begging.

A real beggar is one who asks for and demands attention. And a real emperor is one who lives in himself; he has a center of his own, he doesn’t depend on anybody else.

Buddha sitting under his bodhi tree…if the whole world suddenly disappears, will it make any difference to Buddha? -none. It will not make any difference at all. If the whole world disappears, it will not make any difference because he has attained to the center.

But you, if the wife escapes, divorces you, goes to somebody else, you are completely shattered – because she had been paying attention to you, caring, loving, moving around you, helping you to feel that you were somebody. Your whole empire is lost, you are simply shattered. You start thinking about suicide. Why? Why, if a wife leaves you, should you commit suicide? Why, if a husband leaves you, should you commit suicide? Because you don’t have any center of your own. The wife was giving you the center; the husband was giving you the center.

This is how people exist. This is how people become dependent on others. It is a deep slavery. Ego HAS to be a slave. It depends on others. And only a person who has no ego is for the first time a master; he is no longer a slave. Try to understand this.

And start looking for the ego – not in others, that is not your business, but in yourself. Whenever you feel miserable, immediately close you eyes and try to find out from where the misery is coming and you will always find it is the false center which has clashed with someone.

From Beyond the Frontier of the Mind by Osho