Life’s Challenges

confusionWe have all had periods of time in our life where we think “do I deserve this?” usually we say this when times are hard and things are going wrong in our life, but how often do we say it when things are going right for us, during the good times in our life? It is so easy to forget and take for granted the good things and the loving people we do have in our life, focusing only on what we do not have, what is not going right, what we want (rather than what we need), as the old saying goes “can’t see the woods for the trees”. Thoughts are real living things that not only affect our own actions but also affect others.

Life’s challenges are also life’s lessons, life itself is our classroom of perpetual learning, depending upon your beliefs, these are lessons that you chose to learn before you incarnated on earth. There is also the “people challenge” these being people who come into our lives at different stages, friend’s, acquaintance’s, teachers, lovers, partners, husband’s or wives. All come into our lives for a reason, to teach us something, for us to learn something from them some for only a brief period, some for longer, some for our entire lives. It is for us to interpret what the lessons are, they more than likely may not know themselves, but once the lesson is learned, we must be willing if needs be to let them go and allow them to move on and learn their own lessons and follow their own paths. It is all to easy to try to hold on to something or someone we know we must let go of, maybe believing they need us, that we have to help them, this in itself can be a hard lesson and challenge for us to face.

Decision’s and choices are also a difficult lessons to learn and a major life challenge too. It is always so easy to “make things fit” to find reasons to do something we know is wrong convincing ourselves that it’s right, avoiding doing what we know is truly the right thing to do or action to take. People in our lives can also have an affect on the choices and decisions we make, maybe sometimes through threat, force or circumstance but in reality the saying is true “nobody can make you do anything you do not want to do” the second you agree or decide to do something either right or wrong, you have made a choice, the choice is yours, therefore you have decided what you want to do, in spiritual terms it is called “personal responsibility”, we are all ourselves responsible for our actions, thoughts and deeds. We must remember that every decision we make, every thought we have affects those around us directly or indirectly

The school of life is a hard and tough place to be, but can also be a wonderful one at times… It is true… Life is what you make of it… above all we must stay true to ourselves.

One of our purposes in this life is to help one another, but not to the extent that we harm or cause damage to ourselves or each other. We must learn to identify when help is truly needed and is not as a result of our own ego, know when to stand back,  be willing to let go when we need to…. We must face life’s challenges, learn life’s lessons and stay true to our “true self”.

 

re-post of origional article

Master Your Emotions.

What are emotions and what is emotional mastery? Emotions are often described as energy in motion.
Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Master Your Emotions.

Joe makes a comment and you suddenly feel a rush of energy. Your face flushes and your knuckles whiten as you begin squeezing the edge of the table for dear life. Some part of you knows that this feeling is not proportionate to Joe’s comment or intention, but something was triggered in you nonetheless, and you’re ready to bite his head off.

To be effective as a friend, spouse, significant other, co-worker, manager, leader, or whatever role you’re playing at the moment, learning to manage your feelings is a critical step toward living a happy, successful, and fulfilled life. And let me just say this up front, managing your feelings doesn’t mean that you stuff them down and repress them. It means that you become aware of what’s going on inside of you, own your feelings as your own, heed the message that they have for you, and act responsibly.

What are emotions and what is emotional mastery? Emotions are often described as energy in motion. They become problems only when we judge them as wrong, bad, or inappropriate. When we let our emotions run us, we miss the message that they carry. When we stuff them down for fear of what they might cause us to do, they simply lie in wait to emerge with a vengeance later on. Emotional mastery is the ability to process our emotions so that we receive their message and use their energy for appropriate action.

Our emotions are very much a reflection of our beliefs about life events. For example, if you believe that you are your work and you suddenly lose your job, you are likely to feel an incredible amount of fear, as you perceive your very survival to be at stake. If you repress this fear, possibly because you view it as a weakness, you’ll probably experience anger or rage and at some point, you will likely lash out at whoever’s available.

If on the other hand, you are a person who views your job simply as one aspect of your life, and you know that your inherent value lies in your unique skills and qualities, then your feelings and response to losing your job will probably be a whole lot different. You may just view this loss as an opportunity to explore a whole new path for yourself.

The bottom line here is this: how you feel in any situation corresponds exactly with what you believe about yourself and the situation. Master your beliefs, and you’ll master your emotions.

Knowing that you can change how you feel simply by changing how you think about each experience is a powerful concept. So if you feel upset about something, ask yourself, “How can I reinterpret this event in a such a way that I can feel good or at least OK about it?” If you have a bill you can’ pay, instead of getting mad or sad about it, decide that this is an opportunity to redesign your financial life. Ask for help, develop a plan, and use your energy to get moving on it.

How you think about your emotions adds even another layer. We often give ourselves a double whammy when we get upset about feeling upset. Here are some positive ways to interpret the purpose of our basic emotions set down by Peter McWilliams in his book, “Do It.”

Fear is the energy to do your best in a new situation.

Guilt is the energy for personal change-it is anger directed toward ourselves, and anger is the energy for change.

Unworthiness keeps us on track–just as we can have anything we want, we can’t have everything we want. So too, we are worthy of anything we want, but we may not be worthy of everything we want.

Hurt feelings are a reminder of how much we care.

So how can you use this information in your life? I suggest that you examine any beliefs you hold around emotions and the situations that trigger them. Begin to cultivate present moment awareness as your emotions arise. Just notice them and look at them, not as good or bad, but simply with curiosity, and with the question, what’s this energy for and how do I choose to use it?

Practice. Begin the practice of observing emotions when they arise and identify any judgments you might have about them. Focus instead on listening to the message they hold for you. Then, if you should be so bold, act on this message by expressing the emotion in a positive fashion.

OK How To Master Your Emotions

The first thing you have to understand in the mastery of your emotions is that each of your emotions are Action Signals that your mind sends to you. So these perceived negative emotions should not be suppressed, rather, you should realize the real message they send out like i said before and take proper corrective action.

Step 1. Identify Your Action Signals

These action signals can be classified broadly into 10 types namely :

Discomfort
Emotional pain / Hurt
Anger
Disappointment
Inadequacy
Frustration
Fear
Overwhelmed
Guilt / Regret
Loneliness

When you experience one or more of these action signals, you should realize that they are sending you a specific message. To gain control of your emotions, you have to listen to these messages and take proper action.

For example, if you feel extremely angry towards something or someone, the message this action signal sends is – One of your important rule or standard has been violated.

If you are beset with Fear , it is a clear signal that you should prepare yourselves to avoid the negative consequences.

Once you have identified the action signals you are experiencing, you move to the next step. That being …

Step 2. Change Your Perception or Procedure

Now that you have identified your action signals, you should either change your perception (style of thinking / your feelings) or change your procedure (behavioural pattern). Doing this will help you to control your emotions better.

Relationships

Every relationship is an “assignment,” with the potential for both partners or friends to learn and grow at exactly the right time that you need them in order to fulfil your dreams It will bring the right people, the right opportunities, and the right events to you,

Thought for the day…

Trials are but lessons that you failed to learn, presented once again. So, where you made a faulty choice before, you can now make a better one, and thus escape all pain that what you chose before has brought to you. ~ A Course In Miracles ~