Trust: the antidote to fear

Trust is in the news – or rather lack of it.  Did anyone ever trust  Rupert Murdoch or the News of the World?  More tragically, we hear how the  young people swimming away from the gunman dressed as a policeman inNorway,  asking their rescuers whether they could be trusted.  Who or what do we  trust?  And why is it important?

antidoteWe live in fearful times and trust is the antidote to fear, that’s why it’s  important. As children we have blind faith in other people and that gets knocked  out of us as we grow up, but we are hard-wired to trust.  We survived as a  species because of our ability to work together and trust each other, but who  can we trust when everyone seems to have their own agenda?

In September last year, my husband lost his job unexpectedly.  My income  as a therapist is insufficient to cover our outgoings and we had just spent our  meagre savings on some essential house maintenance.  Suddenly I was  afraid.  What if we couldn’t pay the  mortgage?  What if we couldn’t afford dog food?  What if the  car broke down?  What if?  What if? What if?

I spent a sleepless night, looping what ifs and trying to formulate a  plan.  My default programme is to think myself out of trouble and come up  with a plan.  Even if it wasn’t a complete solution it would make me feel  as though I was making progress and provide the Illusion of Control.  The  plan eluded me.  There was nothing I could do to earn  more money.  I have been out of corporate work too long to go back  and that would seem like a denial of everything I’ve worked through and learned  over the past eight years.  My mind whirred.

In the hour before dawn I finally realised that this was a real, God sent  opportunity to learn trust.  It is easy to talk about Trusting the Universe when life is running  smoothly and according to plan; a different beast when the rug seems to be  suddenly pulled from under your feet. I found peace that morning in accepting  that this was not a test, challenge, or punishment, but an opportunity to  explore, learn and grow.  In that moment of acceptance, my fear vanished  and I understood Trust, perhaps for the first time. It was five months before my  husband found work again and during that time we made various adjustments,  survived financially and continued to enjoy life.  It would have been more  difficult in every respect if I had remained consumed by fear.

That might have been the end of that chapter, but three weeks ago his new  contract was terminated.  The same lesson again?  More opportunity for  growth and learning?  What had I learned about fear and trust?

Well, we have even less security than we had before, but I don’t feel afraid  at all. Fear lives in the ego, which is always afraid because it doesn’t really  exist.  But we are not our egos.  We are not our bodies, not our  emotions, not our thoughts and experiences, not our attitudes or beliefs, or  personalities. These are all just aspects of our physical manifestation enabling  us to interact with the material world, but making us feel separate and  disconnected, feeding the fear.

Over the years I have got to know my Higher Self, the aspect of the unified  consciousness of existence that is accessible within each of us.  15 years  ago, I would not have been sure of the existence of a Higher Self – it sounded  like wishful thinking, a nice idea to make life more bearable. However, as I  went through my process of questioning the purpose of life, dealing with my  fears surrounding my husband’s illness and learning to meditate out of  desperation, something almost magical began to take place.  The recognition  that there was an aspect of me that could observe my emotions, thoughts, fears,  actions, behaviours, attitudes, roles and personality, but was actually none of  these things, was fantastically liberating.  Suddenly, I had more choice  and I didn’t have to respond to life challenges as I had done in the  past.

It is through the Higher Self, Atma, or Witness (there are other names) that  we access the deep, foundational Trust in existence that dissolves all fear and  keeps the ego in check. The more time we are able to spend not thinking,  analysing or doing, the better the balance between the Higher self and the ego  and the easier life becomes.  My Higher Self enables me to feel part of a  larger process of life, which is unfolding according to its own intelligence and  pattern.  I am able to consciously participate in that process through the  choices I make and, whilst I have certain responsibilities, I am not in control  of the process – and it is far more intelligent, creative and loving than I  could ever comprehend.  Having become consciously aware of existence in  this way, it is impossible not to trust it. We can trust in the process of life  because it is always going on to make the best possible version of everything  and we are an inextricable part of it.  With this trust in place we can  trust ourselves, because we have self-knowledge and we can trust others because  they are us too.

This does not mean that we no longer have problems or challenges, but when  something seemingly negative happens to us, we have choices. There are all the  logical, sensible action things to be done – in our case, reduce expenditure and  take action to find more work – and there are the emotional and contextual things to consider.  Last September, I felt  afraid in my little ego but chose to consider myself as part of a bigger process  and work through it.  There were wobbly moments; it doesn’t feel great to  contemplate having to tell friends and family that you can’t afford Christmas  presents, but the reality is not so bad.  We got invited to Christmas  dinner and it felt good to receive generosity without expectation.  Being  slightly detached from the whole consumer-fest that is Christmas these days was  also instructive and meaningful.  Looking back, throughout that five-month  hiatus we were exposed to many different and unexpected joys and  challenges.  Whichever way we looked at it, life had moved out of ‘business  as usual’ to something a bit more exciting.  This time around we are just  moving more deeply and easily into the flow and feel more alive.

When we are thrown into the Unknown, the Illusion of Certainty dissolves  behind us; we can’t go back there because it doesn’t exist – it never did.. When  we confine ourselves to the limited experience of our egos we create the  Illusion of Certainty and the Illusion of Control, so that we can convince  ourselves that we know what’s going on – that there is no Unknown, life is  planned.  Sometimes, life plays along with us.  We can live for years  in which everything seems to be going according to plan. During this time, the  ego will create all sorts of new illusions, dramas, experiences and challenges  to convince itself of its own existence and keep us from stepping into the  Unknown voluntarily.

Right now, many more of us are being thrown into the Unknown. We used to  think that the future was predictable, that there were recognisable patterns we  could follow; if we studied hard, worked hard and followed the rules we would be  OK.  Now, it seems as though those rules don’t work anymore, but did they  ever?  It is much easier to start meditating, connect with your Higher Self  and discover Trust, without waiting until your life gets turned upside down and  forces you onto another path, but it is never too late.  Trust enables us  to play in the Unknown without fear.

Yolanda  Dolling –    About the Author:

I’m here to support people in their awakening and to play a tiny part in  raising global consciousness.  Everything seems to fall in place behind  that purpose. I try to take on what life teaches me and to apply what I’ve  learned to the highest purpose – and to have fun doing it!

I work as a kinesiologist, transpersonal psychologist and laser therapist  from my home in London, where I live with my husband and two Dobermans.


ENJOY each moment,

Well  hello readers and subscribers and a happy new year to you.  Having spent a lovely Christmas holiday with friends and family most of all my beautiful children, I thought it was about time I got back to work in blogging. As  I have had to say a few times to my 18 year old daughter already this year, That “He who hesitates is lost,” and that there will be many windows of opportunities opening that we must walk through as they appear.

I have always believed that everything happens exactly as it is supposed to, including the seemingly negative and painful things that you’ve endured. We all do have our own angels our own guides  beside us   and if you” just ask” your angels to find the hidden lessons and blessings within each event, relationship, and situation,  they’ll help you to find peace and understanding, If you don’t ask you don’t get.

Most of all, I emphasized she should  ENJOY each moment, this moment, no matter what. To embrace and inhale the pleasure, joy, and divine perfection of each and every minute good and bad they are there for a reason,”. And remember that you can always call upon “Archangel Michael” for support, courage, protection, and guidance. He’s completely unlimited and can help everyone who calls upon him simultaneously.

A little prayer to help you                                                         

 I pray to the divine father and Archangel Michael… I am now ready to surrender my dream’s which are to do with… love… family… work… home. living, peace and happiness… you know that I care deeply about these desire’s, and that I greatly wish for them, or something better’ to manifest in my life right now I know that these circumstances are completely under control and thank you for guiding me clearly and for helping my dream’s be fulfilled right now.

This my first post for the new year … and this article is targeted at people who have given up on trying to find pleasure in the ordinary experiences we have every day.

Hear are Just 8 of many pleasures you may focus on.

1. Appreciate Beauty. Each day we come across beauty in a number of shapes and forms. It’s a shame, then, that many people have become so accustomed to this beauty that it largely goes unappreciated. I suggest looking again at the people, plants, gadgets, and buildings (to name but a few examples) around you and taking a moment to appreciate what makes them so special.

2. Connect With Nature. Nature is an amazing healer for the stresses and strains of modern life. Eating lunch in the park, attending to a vegetable garden in your backyard, or watching the sunset are just a few simple ideas for how you can enjoy the outdoors on a daily basis.

3. Don’t waist time. Leigh. E. E. Cummings once said “the most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” How very true. Never be too busy to laugh, or too serious to smile. Instead, surround yourself with fun people and don’t get caught up in your own sense of importance.

4. Enjoy Simple Pleasures. A good cup of  tea when i first wake. Time spent playing with my 5 & 7 year old sons and 8 year old daughter before getting ready for school. Cooking a nice meal in the evening. These may not seem terribly exciting, but they are some of the simple pleasures I enjoy in life. If you slow down for just a moment and take the time to appreciate these ordinary events, life becomes instantly more enjoyable.

5. Connect With People. In so many ways, it is our relationships with people that give us the most happiness in life. Perhaps, then, the best way to enjoy your work more is not to get a raise or a promotion, but rather to build rewarding relationships with your co-workers and like minded friends that are all around you when you choose to release from being alone, local spiritual churches are a good place to start that’s were I found my first  true like minded friends .

6. Learn. There is a strong link between learning and happiness. Given this, there is no excuse not to be stimulating your brain and learning something new each day. Realize that in every moment or event is a chance to improve and advance our knowledge. The more information we gather, the more we broaden our mind. Learning is an infinite journey. Yet we should never pretend to know everything or to understand what we do not. All this does is limit us, narrows our options, and destroys an opportunity for growth. Always embrace the chance to learn. By opening ourselves up to advice, ideas, or input from others, we allow ourselves to expand our knowledge, skills, and expertise.

7. Rethink Your Mornings and Evenings. Are the mornings a mad rush for you to get out the door I know it can be for me sometimes having six children?  Do you switch off the TV at night and go straight to bed? I have personally experienced the profound benefits of establishing a routine in the morning and evening. For example, in the morning you can choose to wake an hour earlier and spend the time working on yourself, whether it be reading, writing or exercising spending extra time with the children’s learning . In the evening, consider spending some time just before bed reviewing your day or in meditation … after all its not that that much extra time is it ?.

8. Celebrate Your Successes. During a normal day we are sure to have some minor successes. Perhaps you have successfully dealt with a difficult customer, made a sale, or received a nice compliment for your work ,a friend, a partner or your child, or you have spent a good day working through the house clearing the clutter. These aren’t events worth throwing a party for but are achievements in there own right.. I always say to the children that , sometimes it’s the little things that count the most, but why not take a moment to celebrate your successes of each day? Share the experience with someone else, reward yourself with a nice lunch, or just give yourself a mental pat on the back.

I wish you good luck on your new journey through 2011-2012.

The Other Side Of Christmas – Christmas Under Presssure

Under PressureChristmas time is the most likely time of the year to experience depression. The suicide rate is higher during December than any other month, which tells us that Christmas depression should be taken quite seriously. Depression at Christmas time can be triggered by a multitude of things, such as losses, failures, and loneliness. These elements are exacerbated this time of year. People who have had deaths in the family or have experienced divorce or the loss of a child are more prone to depression, especially during the holiday season.

It can be especially difficult to cope with a Christmas depression because everyone else seems so joyous, so reaching out feels more awkward and more remote. We don’t want to bring down those around us, we don’t want to feel “different” or alienate ourselves, and we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves either. We tend to disassociate ourselves from our own feelings and ask ourselves self defeating questions. We wonder what’s wrong with us and why we can’t just jump right on into the holiday cheer. This is supposed to be the happiest time of the year and yet we can barely drag ourselves out of bed and become functional human beings. On top of feeling sad and dysfunctional, we feel out of place, and somehow illegitimate in our feelings.

Not all holiday depression has anything to do with loss or failure or death, or even anything obvious. Sometimes people tend to just get depressed around the holidays. Yet those without an obvious “reason” feel that they really shouldn’t be depressed and are least likely to reach out for help. It’s as though people who have experienced trauma have more of a “right” to experience holiday depression than those who appear to have everything that could need or want.

People fail to recognize that holidays are stressful enough to trigger a depression. Sometimes the hustle and bustle and the need to produce (food, presents, parties, and the lot) are enough to seriously frustrate a person right into a depression. Feeling disconnected with the holidays can easily lead to a mild to moderate depression.

Whether dealing with a loss or change or simply feeling overwhelmed by holiday sadness, the number one most important thing anyone can do is to tell someone. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Over the past ten years there has been a great awakening, so to speak, that has illuminated the issue of Christmas depression. People have become more educated and more understanding about the phenomenon and often already know that someone they love is suffering from depression before there is any actual confession.

If you are alone at Christmas time and you realize that you are coming down with holiday depression, reach out to someone by phone, whether it is a friend, a relative, or a professional, just call someone. This is so important. There is nothing to be ashamed of and there are plenty of people willing and able to assist you. A bad moment (even a really long one that last several weeks) does not have to ruin a future. Unfortunately people who find themselves depressed and do nothing about it are prone to staying depressed. Depression can interfere with job performance, friendships, romantic relationships, parenting ability, self care, and even the ability to take care of the dog. It can lead to losses of these very important things if the depression becomes serious enough.

The onset of Christmas depression can sneak up on you in numerous forms. You may simply start to feel more tired than normal or start sleeping through the alarm. You may procrastinate on holiday shopping, even when those events that require your participation are only a few days away. You may start to feel randomly irritable, or snap at people without provocation. You may start to feel disconnected with the world and withdraw from those around you, even children. These are all signs that you are experiencing at least some form of holiday depression, and warning signs that you may need help in dealing with whatever is making you feel this way.

Dealing with a holiday depression once you are able to recognize it is a vital step in returning to a better state of health. Naturally, my first recommendation is that you find a good counselor to speak with. The onset of holiday depression doesn’t have to mean that you require long term counseling or even medication. It may just mean you have to learn to set better boundaries or learn to let go of the past or learn better coping skills when it comes to dealing with a tragedy. Nothing that you are experiencing is so terribly abnormal, and no one is going to react terribly to you if you ask for help.

A good counselor can help you learn to set “holiday boundaries” while you are coping with holiday depression. “Holiday boundaries” include things like limiting the number of holiday party invitations you and your family accept, scaling down Christmas to a level that feels more reasonable to everyone, asking for help in the Christmas preparations, and perhaps dealing a little differently with the specific tasks that tend to depress you more. If wrapping presents creates a huge sadness in you because it triggers and emotion or a memory, then perhaps you can get a significant other, an older child, or another relative to help you so that you don’t have to wrap nearly as many. Sometimes just doing it with someone is enough to help keep your depression away.

A Christmas depression is usually more than just a simple case of the holiday blues, and it really should be treated with more respect than that. It is better to go to a counselor and have them tell you that you just have the “blues” and it will pass than to sit on a serious depression and slowly watch your world around you disassemble. A holiday depression requires attention, especially one that develops annually. While it may seem logical to believe that because it happens every year that it will just keep leaving every year isn’t logic that should be counted on when help is so readily available.

Courtesy of Professors House

Resourced from

The Twelve Days of Christmas

I found an article on the web today about the Christmas carol The Twelve Days of Christmas that I thought people may find interesting so I thought I would share it with you.
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church.  Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.  If you remember the song begins with:
On the First day of Christmas, my TRUE love gave to me…”
A partridge in a pear tree… where Jesus Christ represents the partridge and the cross symbolizes the pear tree.
On the Second day… Two turtle doves are the Old and New Testaments.
On the Third day… Three french hens stood for faith, hope and love.
On the Fourth day… The four calling birds are the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
On the Fifth day…. The five golden rings recalls the Torah or Law, which are the first five books of the Old Testament.
On the Sixth day… The six geese a-laying stands for the six days of creation.
On the Seventh day… Seven swans a-swimming represents the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit – Prophesy, Serving, Teaching,  Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
On the Eighth day… The eight maids a-milking are the eight beatitudes.
On the Ninth day… Nine ladies dancing represents the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit – Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness,  Faith, Gentleness, and Self Control.
On the Tenth day… The ten lords a-leaping are the ten commandments.
On the Eleventh day…The eleven pipers piping stands for the eleven faithful disciples.
And lastly on the Twelfth day… The twelve drummers drumming symbolizes the twelve points of belief in the Apostles’ Creed.
I have not had time to research this but should this be true then we now know the true meaning of the Twelve day of Christmas…. I hope you all have a very happy (Twelve Days of) Christmas… Take care everyone.

A Christmas message…

santa and sleighI hope everyone will take a little time this Christmas to think of their loved ones, family and friends both this side of life and those in spirit and also those less fortunate than themselves. Those who are sick, living in poverty, those who maybe working in the emergency services on stand by in case we may need them, those who are in the armed forces serving  their country. May we please remember that Christmas is a special time of love and goodwill to all celebrated not just by us in this world, but by those in the spirit world too.

I wish to say a very special thank you to Joanne my partner & co-author of Mediums World for all the  knowledge and experience we have shared, and the love, help, support and friendship she has shown & given to me this past year it has and continues to be invaluable to me… I hope Joanne that I have been able to give the same in return to you… Thank you so much Joanne for all you have done for me, for Mediums World and our readers and subscribers. You are a very special lady..I wish you a very special Christmas and may all that you wish for this Christmas come true for you.

Merry Christmas everyone


When a child is born… True meanings of Christmas

Lets try this year to focus on the true meanings of Christmas….

Love, Hope, Goodwill towards all…