What is the difference between responsibility and blame? The most basic answer to that question is judgment; when you blame you judge. According to Merriam Webster, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible as a: moral, legal, or mental accountability. Blame, however, is defined by finding fault with someone or something. The most obvious difference when examining these definitions is judgment. If someone blames you for something, they have found fault with something that you have done or some decision that you made. If you are to blame then something you have said or done has caused an adverse or undesired outcome.
Do you really believe that everyone can change his or her lives for the better? Of course you can and it takes only one decision. The issue exists that even when you decide to change your life for the better, you are up against the sum total of all your missed opportunities (past mistakes). So, it does not seem as easy as just a decision. However, the decision is the starting point. Anyone can change because we know that change is a constant, therefore we are always evolving. This means that we are always in a period of change.
The blockages that you come up against are those that are created by yourself believing that you cannot change and from others who want to see you hurt because it makes them feel better. Let’s look at each blockage a little more in detail, which will hopefully enlighten you as to the methods or ways to overcome these blockages.
The human being is a very resilient animal, yet if you bring in the spiritual aspect into the equation life becomes a rollercoaster and you are the one in control. It takes on a new meaning, rather like panning for gold and recognizing that you have just struck the mother load.
Believe in yourself! How many times have you heard this statement? I bet you have heard it many times over. It’s not as easy as you think, but the truth is that if you do not believe in yourself, you will find it very difficult to change anything or achieve anything. Many people fail at this first hurdle and it seems that everything you really want to be or change for the better is so far in the distance.
If you believe in a higher power you can believe in yourself and if you have difficulty with believing in a higher power, yet you are beginning to believe in yourself you can bet the higher power is at work. This is because you are a spiritual being and have an amazing power that you can harness to better yourself. No matter what you think of yourself, you have the right to happiness and this is a matter of choice.
Perhaps if you begin to really feel that you deserve happiness and no matter what causes lay in the past, you have the power to make the present wonderful by knowing that you can make the changes that are necessary. Every positive thing you do for yourself and in service to others strengthens your resolve for change to be affected.
Now even after you have gotten over that hurdle and you are beginning to feel better about yourself, you find another hurdle. This is the hurdle that is erected, not by yourself but by those who are damaged themselves and who do not want you to succeed in anything.
The truth is that many people are suffering needlessly and normally due to the three lacks. The Three Lacks are the same spiritual lessons that the Great Spirit has always wished to impart to us and that is;
These are the three lacks that are also the spiritual lessons of life. If we lack in any of these three lessons or attributes, then we cause suffering not only to ourselves but also to those around us. This also means these people will act in such a way that will cause suffering to you because it makes them feel good, powerful and self gratifies themselves.
Hurdles that are borne from the Lacks are erected by those who do not wish you to change and who show you no compassion, love or forgiveness because it fuels their ego and makes them feel good. This is the worse type of suffering and no one deserves to suffer in life. So how do you deal with those Damaged People?
What you have to show or give is what they lack in themselves. Never retaliate, use loving speech and do not feed your negative seeds or the negative energy that may surround you. This reminds me of an old Cherokee Indian story that denotes the profound spiritual truth. A Chief from the Cherokee Nation was talking with his son.
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight between two wolves.” The young boy listened intently. “One wolf is evil, unhappy, and ugly: He is anger, envy, war, greed, selfishness, sorrow, regret, guilt, resentment, inferiority/superiority, false pride, coarseness, and arrogance.
He spreads lies, deceit, fear, hatred, blame, scarcity, poverty, and divisiveness.” “The other wolf is beautiful and good: He is friendly, joyful, loving, worthy, serene, humble, kind, benevolent, just, fair, empathetic, generous, honest, compassionate, grateful, brave, and inspiring resting wholeheartedly in deep vision beyond ordinary wisdom.” The son paused in deep reflection of what his father had just said. Then he exclaimed; “Oyee! (In recognition).
His father continued; “This same fight is going on inside you and inside all human beings even though they fail to recognize it.” The young boy paused in deep reflection and recognition of what his grandfather had just said. Then he finally cried out deeply, “Oyee! Grandfather, which wolf will win this horrific war?” The elder Cherokee replied, “The wolf that you feed. That wolf will surely win!” Sometimes the greatest weapon you have is silence for within the silence is the nourishment for the soul.
Don’t feed fears for the fear will become the angry wolf and do not feed those that would seek to block you with your fear. You have the right to happiness as everyone has that right, and not one person should judge. You have to forgive yourself before you can forgive others and even though your path may seem blocked your light will shine and resilience will become stronger. You will leap over the hurdle that others erect.
The last and final hurdle that you will come across in your quest for change is the support network that you have around you. If you have no support you cannot stand. If your legs are taken from you, will you crawl on your belly or will you recognize that your spiritual legs can carry you further than the physical and material?
As a spiritual being, you can transcend any problem that is presented in the material world. Maybe your support network does not seem to be around you. The truth is that you have the support of the spirit and when the spirit is strong, it can answer the call that nature requires of it. You are a spiritual being that can overcome these hurdles and all you have to do is recognize the power of the spirit no matter what life throws at you.
The past is gone; the future has not arrived so the only time to live is now in the present moment.
Jock Brocas is a professional Psychic Medium who was natural from birth yet developed later in life. Jock has dedicated his later years to his own spiritual development and the professional development of his psychic and mediumship gifts. Being a professional Psychic Medium is very rewarding but also has its inherent problems. Nevertheless, Jock believes in the sanctity of mediumship and takes his work as a psychic medium very seriously.
Jock is known for giving irrefutable evidence and some of which can be validated much later. Jock is passionate about the science of psychic mediumship and works closely with many professionals in this field. He does not give general information that some psychics throw out and prefers the protocol of scientifically controlled telephone appointments. Jock very rarely gives psychic readings face-to-face unless pre booked.
Jock developed his psychic gifts and mediumship later in life when he was visited by a spirit. At first, this visitation shocked him and terrified him, which led him into the true vocation he was here for, a psychic medium’s life. He learned from his past and recognized that he was being groomed to work for spirit all his life – from growing up with spiritual leaders and spending time with religious communities – the path was being prepared. He is also a trained vocalist and is currently working on an Album to be released at some point in the future.
Jock Brocas (Psychic Medium) has studied many martial arts in the past and dedicated his later years to the study of Budo. He has amalgamated what he has learned in Budo and as a psychic medium to help change individuals lives for the better.
I define an adult as someone who takes 100 % responsibility for his or her life and situation. This article (and you tube) series will explore what it means to be an adult. These times are calling for leaders to be adults.
Every blaming thought you hold is an obstacle—an obstacle to your success. Think for a moment of someone you may be blaming right now. This person could be a parent, one of your children, your spouse or partner, a neighbor, your boss, or your employee. Think about the thoughts you have toward this person and ask yourself these three questions:
1. How does this blaming thought help me live better?
2. How does this blaming thought help me feel better?
3. How does this blaming thought help the person that I am blaming?
If you are honest with yourself–you know that these thoughts don’t help. We tell ourselves that the hurt or the anger that we feel is caused by someone else. But in fact, it is our own thinking that makes us suffer. Since blaming doesn’t help, and it makes us suffer, why do we do it so much? We do it for the payoffs.
1. You get to be right. It goes like this–“I’m hurt; I’m angry; and I’m miserable—but at least I know I’m right.”
2. You get to play victim–no expectations–no responsibility.
3. You get to justify yourself and your behavior.
While these payoffs may provide us with a little charge–a moment of satisfaction, ultimately, when we blame, we suffer. Hurtful. angry, and guilty thoughts make us feel miserable and powerless. Whatever your real goals in life may be, whether it is joy, success, growth, or fulfillment, blame, gets in the way.
1. Blaming is a focus on what you don’t want–instead of focusing on what you do want.
2. Blaming doesn’t motivate anyone. It makes people defensive.
3. Blaming is a distortion of reality.
It’s just a story that we tell ourselves, and in the story we distort reality in order to justify ourselves–in order make ourselves feel right or better than the other person. When we are blaming we cannot see or deal with reality as it is, because we are stuck in the story. Now here is a question for you: Think for a moment again of someone you are blaming. Ask yourself: Who would you be if you weren’t blaming this person? Who would you be without your blaming thoughts? Who would you be in this situation, how would you be acting, if you weren’t blaming, if you weren’t holding this person responsible for your well-being? Who would you be if you weren’t playing victim to this person?
I’ll tell you what I think you’d be: I think you would be incredible. I think that you would be powerful. I think that you be courageous. I think that you would be free.
So, how do we become this powerful, incredible, and courageous person we are all meant to be. Here are a few ideas that will move you in that direction:
1. Accept people and situations as they are, instead of wishing for them to be different.
2. Breathe–release your negative emotion.
3. Focus your attention on what you do want instead of focusing it on what you don’t want.
When you are clear about who you are, and when your thoughts and your energy are focused on what it is that you do want, that’s when you move beyond blaming. That’s when you recognize that blaming is just a distraction and it is not nearly as important as the person that you want to become, nor is it as important as the goals that you want to achieve. William Frank Diedrich – About the Author:
William Frank Diedrich is a keynote speaker and workshop presenter, executive coach, and the author of three books, including, Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations. Bill’s books and his new CD, The Leaders’ Edge: Three Keys to Exceptional Leadership, can be purchased at intelligentspirit
Bill speaks on leadership and organizational development, moving beyond blaming, emotional intelligence, and spiritual intelligence. He works with leaders at all levels in organizations to bring forth their best. More info and articles can be found at noblaming
To hear this article — This is the link for the youtube version : BeyondBlame
In all situations in life, you have the freedom and choice to choose how you will react and what actions you will take. You also have the power to control your thoughts. Ok, there may be some forces which are clearly out of your control but you do have the choice even in these situations on how you will react.
We often get into the habit of blaming other people for our circumstances or our unhappiness. We end up complaining to our friends or anyone who will listen. For example:
1) My partner stops me from doing things
2) My boss won’t listen to me
3) Its my parents fault that I am the way I am
Do you blame your boss for your lack of income? If so, will blaming them change things? Will it help the situation?
Do you blame your partner for your unhappy relationship or sit in self pity blaming your parents because ‘ they made you this way’? If you do, then you are just setting yourself up for more misery and keeping yourself stuck in the blame game.
The truth of the matter is, that in laying blame on others, you are giving someone else the power to impact your life in a massive way. When you are pointing the blame finger at someone else, who or what have you given your power away to? We often end up blaming others, as it is easier than actually taking action and taking responsibility ourselves.
If something is not working in your life, instead of blaming others, look at what action you can take to resolve the situation and take responsibility. I often believe we have three choices in situations which may not be working for us – Accept it, Change it or Walk away from it!
For example, if you don’t enjoy your job or feel you are not earning enough money, take responsibility and do something about it. Speak with your boss or update your resume and go out job searching! If you are not happy in your relationship, speak to your partner and if you are still unhappy – let them go and move on!
Try this exercise:
Where in your life are you laying blame?
Who have you given your power to in this situation?
What are the consequences of laying blame in this situation?
What specifically do you need to do to take responsibility in this situation right now?
So, if you find yourself pointing the blame at someone else, ask yourself what you can do to resolve the situation and take action. Remember, when you point the blame finger at someone else, you are also pointing three fingers backwards towards yourself.
Physical pain doesn’t phase many people…its the mental that creates such problems…if one is mentally hurting themselves through thought why should every one else suffer around them it achieves absolutely nothing “its wrong” … if your desires are not materializing as quickly as you want, ask yourself :
do I have underlying fears that my dreams wont come true
do I have fixed ideas about how I desire my life to be
am I blaming someone for this situation so I cant blame myself. fact only you is to blame hard but true.
any “yes” answers indicate a need to let go and surrender for the sake of your well being yourself and all around you…when you wish to control situations or people ( including yourself) its simply a sign of fear and distrust the world can become your enemy…turn negativity into positive…worry, anger, resentment, and the likes are called “negative emotions” because they drain away time and energy… since feelings such as joy elation and hope increases your power levels, they’re called “ positive.”
Worry is a normal human habit. yet its effects are undesirable, including stress, tension, aging, addictions, sleeplessness, and time consumption. And the same is true for all negative emotions. You can transform these feelings into positive ones by remembering this:
Usually anxiety is the basis of negative emotion. It’s a fear of losing something or someone, or having it withheld from you. its an affirmation that some power other than yourself is in control…. its like the more you value a dream, the more important the desire is to deliver to yourself ..but not realizing that your inviting a parade of anxiety if it don’t work out which could march all over your dreams and smother the life force out of it stopping you from going “forth” at that moment.
There is a point were every one has to release and realize… if your trust has been shaken and you feel the need for iron clad guarantees, there are better ways than mental `or physical torture which does begin with yourself then the next person that you feel is hurting you and so forth whether they are or not…( just let go) know that you or this other individual simply needs reassurance that’s it .
WHY go through such pain its simply not worth it… only you can manifest the perfect outcome to any situation but it has to be for the best from good intentions the more you’re aware of this truth, the more peaceful you’ll feel. And with peace comes the knowledge that everything truly is under control.
Just find balance an important part of our life’s purpose involves making decisions having responsibilities and having duties to perform, sometimes we may wonder how to achieve a balance these different demands they are conflicting for many people …. by holding a positive mind-set even through the bad, the bad is there for a reason it is a main part of our lives it helps change our way of thinking for the better but you have to believe this.
Love is also an important need a desire in our life and noticing this is a simple route to happiness but you Have got to give to receive …(positive mind set) love and balance …there a vital investment that pays huge dividends’ in terms of increasing energy, motivation, and inspiration to go forwards in our life.
Make a fresh start in your life today you can change your mind set within a moment, for the better life can only be as good as what you what you want to make it.