Blaming Others (what are the consequences of blame or self-pity)

taking-responsibility-for-your-choicesIn all situations in life, you have the freedom and choice to choose how you will react and what actions you will take. You also have the power to control your thoughts. Ok, there may be some forces which are clearly out of your control but you do have the choice even in these situations on how you will react.

We often get into the habit of blaming other people for our circumstances or our unhappiness. We end up complaining to our friends or anyone who will listen. For example:

1) My partner stops me from doing things

2) My boss won’t listen to me

3) Its my parents fault that I am the way I am

Do you blame your boss for your lack of income? If so, will blaming them change things? Will it help the situation?

Do you blame your partner for your unhappy relationship or sit in self pity blaming your parents because ‘ they made you this way’? If you do, then you are just setting yourself up for more misery and keeping yourself stuck in the blame game.
The truth of the matter is, that in laying blame on others, you are giving someone else the power to impact your life in a massive way. When you are pointing the blame finger at someone else, who or what have you given your power away to? We often end up blaming others, as it is easier than actually taking action and taking responsibility ourselves.
If something is not working in your life, instead of blaming others, look at what action you can take to resolve the situation and take responsibility. I often believe we have three choices in situations which may not be working for us – Accept it, Change it or Walk away from it!
For example, if you don’t enjoy your job or feel you are not earning enough money, take responsibility and do something about it. Speak with your boss or update your resume and go out job searching! If you are not happy in your relationship, speak to your partner and if you are still unhappy – let them go and move on!
Try this exercise:

Where in your life are you laying blame?

Who have you given your power to in this situation?

What are the consequences of laying blame in this situation?

What specifically do you need to do to take responsibility in this situation right now?

So, if you find yourself pointing the blame at someone else, ask yourself what you can do to resolve the situation and take action. Remember, when you point the blame finger at someone else, you are also pointing three fingers backwards towards yourself.


article written by Lisa Phillips

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