This is a re-post of Joanne’s original article.
Lets talk about self-pity…the answer is really worth its weight in gold if found. If we want to be happy we have to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and stop wallowing in self-pity. If you think about it we all enjoy doing it and we do it way more than we consciously realise.. self-pity is a soul emotion that clouds our happiness and I invite you to consider that for a second.. because self-pity is a very unique emotion that eats up everything all around us except itself, leaving itself on its own little island… bitter and angry and sticking up for its own values..
Self-pity does feel good at first because it reminds us of hey you know the worlds so cruel and life’s dealt us a bad hand, we are just not worthy, and that might be true in some cases but its pretty pointless and it’s not really going to help us.. Let go of self-pity… It’s all about being responsible for your thoughts and actions again and you will automatically clear those grey clouds shielding you from true happiness.
We sometimes go into the self-pity mode when we get to a point in life, and there are guaranteed to be a couple, we have all been there, many of us on a daily basis. It is terrible sometimes when we feel the world is caving in, when things go wrong all at once and we start to feel sorry for ourselves and we realise ” Gee ” life isn’t really that good and isn’t treating us very well and maybe we are not worth anything, maybe things are just destined to not work out for us, and then we feel sorry for ourselves and just wallow in that self-pity, and it’s quite ironic because it makes us feel good temporarily, we sort of think “hey yeah I was right!” so there’s a little sort of quite positive feedback from the negativity. But as you move forward slowly that self-pity, that feeling sorry for yourself, turns very bitter and gets worse and worse then you find that people around you who are trying to help are changing towards you but STOP is it really them…?
hmm… but then again it is hard to forgive the people who innocently push your buttons instead you get angry with them when you are wallowing in self.
Really it’s not good for our well-being at all …you just have try as much as possible to stop feeling sorry for yourself and you’ll very rarely have a reason for sadness its bad for all long-term. You’ll enjoy and have more happiness in your life if you could just remember it is just a part of life not the whole of it. We are always dipping into happiness and sadness and we do need both sides of this coin in order to know the difference. To help us forward ourselves and all around us we need to endure sadness but not hold it and not for long periods of time not even a whole day if you can help it.. we have to embrace the duality of it and be gentle with ourselves.
- Positive Psychology News Daily ” Self-Kindness: A Healthier … (positivepsychologynews.com)